Psychosynthesis psychotherapy uses many techniques. Cheerfulness is the younger brother of joy and humor and is extremely important to practice, as part of a positive attitude to life. Assagioli offers here suggestions for the factors that inhibit and promote cheerfulness
By Roberto Assagioli, MD translation Hans Ole Pedersen
The nature of cheerfulness
This subject may cause some astonishment, and make the reader wonder how cheerfulness, which is a state of mind or inner attitude, can be considered a “technique.” I hope to show that cheerfulness can to a great extent be a technique or, to be more precise, can be stimulated, developed and maintained by means of psychological exercises. And where it is needed, especially nowadays! The subject is directly related to the Will .
The last remark requires some explanation. It may be objected that cheerfulness is a mood which one either has or does not have; it cannot be artificially produced by the will. This objection raises the problem of the relation of the will to the other psychological functions and activities in general, and to emotions and feelings in particular. It is true that a change in mood cannot be produced by forcing one’s will. A dictatorial and coercive command of the will will easily arouse opposite reactions and defeat the purpose. This mistake is made by the authoritarian moralists and schoolmen who use methods based on prohibitions, threats, condemnation and punishment. On the contrary, the use of appropriate psychological techniques, guided by the enlightened and intelligent will, can have a powerful effect on all the psychological functions and can change the direction of a mood. I will endeavor to demonstrate this in relation to cheerfulness.
A theoretical definition of cheerfulness is unnecessary. Everyone knows more or less what it is. Moreover, definitions in the psychological sense hardly serve any purpose, since knowledge of psychological facts is mainly obtained through direct experience. On the other hand, it may be useful to state some of the characteristic features of cheerfulness and to add a brief remark on its connection with other moods and inner activities.
Cheerfulness is closely connected and related to humour. I have spoken of the nature of humor and its use in the treatise “Smiling Wisdom.” Jokingly, cheerfulness can be called the “younger brother” of humor: one awakens and stimulates the other. But they are completely different, as is revealed by the fact that there can be humor without cheerfulness and cheerfulness devoid of humor. The latter can be satirical, ironic, sometimes even biting. Cheerfulness, on the other hand, is lofty, good-natured, and smiling.
Similarly, cheerfulness can be called the younger brother of joy . Cheerfulness opens up for joy and supports its expression. Conversely, joy contains the mood that is cheerfulness. (I will return to this later when I discuss Franciscan joy).
Furthermore, cheerfulness is closely related to play. Play promotes cheerfulness, which in turn encourages play.
Get rid of the irritation
Let us now look at the practical side: how can we stimulate, cultivate and maintain cheerfulness? There are two groups of methods. In one group are the techniques that remove the obstacles to its expression; in the other, those that directly provoke it. Irritation constitutes one of the most important obstacles. But combating irritation by intervening with the will does not work, or if it works for a short time, it can be harmful and create violent reactions. The most direct way to eliminate irritation and the hostility and urge for aggression that go with it is to find an outlet for it by means of harmless activities with symbolic meaning: such as splitting firewood, tearing newspapers and the like, hitting a quilt or hammering a boxing ball. A more reliable and, I think, cultured way of doing this is described in “The Best” in an article by A. and S. Mydans, But What Kind of People Are These Japanese?
“In Japan, great importance is attached to group and individual self-control. The ultra-modern Matsushita Electric factory provides a room reserved for workers with repressed emotions where they can go in and regain self-control. Anyone who needs it can leave work for this purpose, and fifteen to twenty people use the room daily. It contains two dolls covered with heavy canvas, and sticks to beat them with. The smallest of the dolls has been so battered that the metal skeleton that forms the head is visible through the straw padding, and the stomach has a large hole in the cover. The doll does not represent a superior, but the stick-user’s own self.”
One can also vent one’s irritation by writing accusatory, critical letters, perhaps even with profanity, to people who have aroused hostility in us, without sending them. All these methods are effective because symbolic satisfaction is as rewarding as real outlets.
The Japanese method has the additional advantage of allowing irritation and hostility towards ourselves to surface and then letting it drain away. This is really important, since an accompanying unconscious mechanism can easily inflict punishment on ourselves, which can develop into extremes. It is actually a question of reactions towards a part of ourselves that we would rather be without. Having that part represented by a doll is a good way to get rid of it.
Anger is useless
But there are more direct or better methods after or alongside the method of waiting. It can be said that waiting removes the immediate irritation, but to get to the root of it one can do the following: First of all, critically examine the effect anger has on us and think about its harmful effect on us. It has been formulated as follows: “Anger is the price we pay for the mistakes of others.” The realization of how useless anger is is expressed briefly and clearly in the Chinese saying: “If there is a way out, why get angry? If there is not, what is the use of getting angry?”
Criticism is one way of expressing displeasure. Since I have spoken of this on other occasions, I will limit myself here to quoting what Henry Ford said: “Don’t find faults, find solutions. Everyone has something to complain about.” A great deal of our bad mood, much of our suffering and unhappiness, comes from other people’s criticism, because of the importance we attach to their opinion of us. It is truly one of the most useless things we can do. We are often exposed to criticism, so it is better to know and accept it from the beginning! A Buddhist text, the Dhammapada , dating back several hundred years before Christ, says: “This is an old saying, O Atula! They criticize those who speak, they criticize those who remain silent, even those who speak little are criticized, no one in the world escapes judgment.” Another figure of speech that helps to defeat this tendency: “They say. What do they say? Let them say!” And finally, an Eastern proverb: “The dogs do, the caravan passes.”
An effective way to adopt an attitude of non-reaction, both external and internal, towards those who are unfriendly or who are considered enemies is to recognize their usefulness . As Inayat Khan has said, “My friends put me to sleep, my enemies keep me awake.” Adler was a psychotherapist who devoted himself especially to improving right human relations by eliminating unfriendly assertiveness. He wrote these wise words: “My enemies have always been a blessing to me. When they do not fight my ideas, they adopt them and claim them as their own, but in doing so they give them greater prominence. Whether what I think I have discovered is called Freudian or not is immaterial to me. I believe it is true and of permanent value to humanity, and that makes me happy.” So let us recognize the usefulness of “enemies.” Furthermore, it takes two to make enmity; if one is my enemy and I am not his enemy, there is no enemy.
Obstacles to cheerfulness
Another serious obstacle to cheerfulness is self-pity . In other words, self-pity . Widespread and harmful as it is, it is often accompanied by an unhealthy sense of cozy self-complacency. It provides a breeding ground for other negative reactions: envy, resentment, a thirst for revenge. Self-pity can be combated and eliminated by recognizing the universally painful condition of man, and especially by thinking about the great number of people who suffer much more than we do (the sick, the imprisoned, the isolated, and the poor). A few lines from the Italian writer, Metastasio, express a great truth in a simple way: “If the agony of the soul were written on the foreheads of people, many who are envied would arouse pity.”
Another obstacle to cheerfulness, less significant but still extremely common, is impatience . A Chinese proverb puts it this way: “When you see an egg, you expect to hear it squeak.” Thus, one of the psychological techniques to be developed is “the art of waiting.”
A major obstacle to cheerfulness is worry . Much could also be said on this matter, but not on this occasion. The meaning is nicely expressed in the proverb: “Today is the tomorrow that you worried so much about yesterday.”
Among other obstacles to cheerfulness, not for all but for many, is a tendency to sadness, to find satisfaction in sadness. In addition to this kind of personal rejection of cheerfulness, there are a lot of common or cultural causes that we must face if they are to be removed. One cause is philosophical negativism, which conceives of man as alienated, as a victim of external forces, as condemned to suffering, who thinks he is doing the right thing the more he suffers, and thereby perseveres in his misery with his eyes open. According to this reasoning, since suffering is the fate of man, self-conscious suffering is the most heroic and intellectually honest way to live. To advocate such an attitude is based on certain assumptions which, even if they are wrong, are taken as axiomatic. Fortunately, however, such misunderstood thoughts are no longer so prevalent as more and more people begin to see a natural connection between man and various aspects of reality: I am talking about a number of trends from the ecological movement on the one hand to the interest in Eastern religions on the other. As for man’s own understanding of himself, humanistic psychology and the more positive versions of existentialism help to open up man’s perspective to his inner positive and creative powers.
At this point we must admit that cheerfulness, like all other good qualities, can be exaggerated and inappropriate. Life contains serious situations, heavy suffering, human problems, both individual and collective, which cheerfulness cannot solve. They must be taken into account and met with due seriousness, but seriousness should be reserved exclusively for them . We are inclined to take so many things seriously that there is no evidence for them. We squander, so to speak, our capital of seriousness, so that there is not enough for the really important matters. So the rule is: Seriousness in everything that deserves and requires it, cheerfulness for the rest.
Paths to cheerfulness
Now we come to the active techniques for developing cheerfulness. The general method is to cultivate states of mind and moods which are the antithesis of those which block cheerfulness, and also to promote those which express it directly. As with all other qualities which we wish to develop, it is a matter of opening ourselves to influences which radiate the desired qualities. Just as we can expose ourselves to favorable physical influences, air, sunshine, ultraviolet light, etc., so we can and should open ourselves consciously to favorable psychological and spiritual forces. There are many ways of doing this. The simplest and easiest way is to read suitable books or listen to suitable music. There are plenty of books which can induce cheerfulness, among them PG Wodehouse’s stories, full of harsh but good-natured humour. The author plays on the comic aspects, the weaknesses and the stupidity of a wide range of characters in the “human comedy”. With smiling impartiality, he lets nobility and commoners, girls in love and youths, artists and intellectuals, publishers and gangsters, Englishmen, Americans, Frenchmen, take the stage. In particular, we should mention Let Psmith Handle It , in which the hero circulates among people with eternal good humor and deftly manages to get out of a series of difficult and complicated situations. Psmith is surely an idealized model of the author.
In some high-caliber humorists there is a strong splash of biting satire, as in Swift, or compassion, as in Manzoni’s I Promessi Sposi, while in others the satire remains amiable and smiling, as in the works of Horace. In the field of music, liveliness and clarity are constant features of Haydn’s works, while there is real amusement in the way Wagner pokes fun at academic music producers in Die Meistersinger. But perhaps the masterpiece of musical humor is Rossini’s The Barber of Seville. Figaro’s self-aggrandizement is irresistibly heartening. On a more modest level, there is no shortage of songs to “smooth the frown” and bring smiles to tight lips. Such pieces are a good antidote in times of depression, irritation, or bad mood.
Another technique, as effective as it is simple and easy to use, is the use of arousing words. It uses a series of cards, each of which has the name of a positive good quality printed on it. When these cards are placed in places where the eye can easily see them, they are instrumental in bringing out the qualities in question in the person. Phrases, aphorisms, and appropriate images can be used for the same purpose (See the article “The Use of Arousing Words”). Another generally recognized psychosynthesis exercise can bring out cheerfulness directly and cultivate it methodically. In the Exercise for Producing Clear Calm and Stillness, cheerfulness can be substituted for calm and stillness. The exercise thus modified is appended at the end of the article.
But the fundamental method for neutralizing both rebellion and self-pity is acceptance. Not a passive acceptance or resigned submission, but an initial acceptance followed by what can be done to change the situation – if and when possible. A good example: An old man was always cheerful despite all the problems he had been through. His answer, when people asked him how he kept himself cheerful and calm, was: “I have learned to cooperate with the inevitable.” What wisdom there is in these words! A somewhat innocent but fundamentally apt expression is attributed to a student of Emerson, who one day said to him: “I accept the universe!” Emerson looked at her for a moment and replied: “You are right!”
Acting “as if” is another extremely useful psychological technique. On many occasions, there is no time to neutralize a mood, such as depression or irritation, but the situation must still be dealt with immediately. In such a situation, one must act as if the mood did not exist. It is not a radical remedy to smile, to speak kindly to the person whom we would rather treat badly, but it is effective. Diverting our attention from a mental state helps us to disidentify with it and diminish it. But above all, it removes the vicious circle that we often create: one becomes irritated and is aware of it; then one becomes irritated with oneself for being irritated; one sees that it is stupid, and this increases the irritation; and so on! The same thing happens with depression: awareness of being depressed makes one more depressed, and so on. However, if one diverts attention and directs it towards the opposite psychological state, and acts as if one is not depressed, the negative state is temporarily relieved and can be controlled. The use of this “as if” technique can be extended to foster inner happiness and cheerfulness despite suffering. One cannot expect to eliminate suffering, but one can maintain a clear and positive state of mind during suffering. The psychological diversity of the human mind makes this possible, because the different parts of us can, and normally do, function independently of each other. This is aptly expressed by the philosopher Campanella in the words “In the flesh suffering, in the mind joy”. Even though the body suffers, the mind can remain clear, even happy. To achieve this, it is necessary not to identify with the body, but to see it as the instrument it is – in St. Francis’s catch phrase: “Brother Donkey”.
God’s joke birds
This leads us to consider Franciscan joy. Although St. Francis of Assisi suffered a lot, he was happy and encouraged his monks to be happy. He used to tell them that they must be “God’s jokers,” in order to attract souls to God. In fact, joy, happiness, and cheerfulness are magnetic. A significant episode in the life of St. Francis tells how, when he was looking for a place to establish a monastery, he came to Chiusi in Tuscany. He preached a sermon in the residence of Count Orlando of Chiusi on the theme: “So great is the Good that I expect that every suffering is a joy to me.” His speech made such an impression that Count Orlando offered him the mountain of La Verna for the purpose. This led to the construction of what is today a Franciscan sanctuary, second only to Assisi.
Another method of cultivating elevated cheerfulness has to do with the relative nature of an event, an understanding that events often have unforeseen effects, even the opposite of what they seem at the moment. This is highlighted in a Chinese parable mentioned by Lin Yutang in the book The Importance of Living : An old farmer who lived with his son on a hilltop one day lost his horse. His neighbors expressed sympathy for his misfortune, but he replied, “How do you know it is an accident?” A few days later the horse returned with a bunch of other horses. The neighbors now wanted to congratulate him on this good fortune. This time too, the old man replied, “How do you know it is an accident?” The son began to ride the horses and one day broke his leg. The old man’s response to the neighbors’ sympathy this time was, “How do you know it is an accident?” Shortly after, war broke out, and the son, who was incapacitated, avoided taking part.
Let us always remember this relativity.
How effective a positive, smiling attitude towards life is is expressed by Inayat Khan: “He who looks at life with horror is subject to life; he who takes life seriously is in life; he who meets life with a happy smile rises above the world.”
Use of cheerfulness
Now I should speak of the use of cheerfulness, but I can do so only briefly. In psychotherapy cheerfulness has a wide range of uses, since a large proportion of psychosomatic and psychological disorders have their roots in the causes I have explained: irritation, unwillingness, depression, self-pity. It is thus clear that cheerfulness is healing to the extent that we can eliminate these emotional reactions.
I will dwell a little longer on the application of cheerfulness in interpersonal and social relations. Cheerfulness is an indispensable factor in family life. Much unhappiness, indeed most breakdowns in the family (separation, divorce) have their origin in the atmosphere of irritation, criticism, demands, which I have mentioned. Cheerfulness can be said to be the lubricant for the mechanism of interpersonal relations, especially the close relations of the family.
There is an important point about social relations that is emphasized by Paul Tournier, one of the pioneers of new humanistic medicine. It is that one must never be assertive about being right, and especially not when one is right or thinks one is right. Tournier says: “Being right is dangerous, it has always been the source of all intolerance.” I would highly recommend this valuable rule of life. When one is wrong, one can reach an agreement; but when one is right, and stands for one’s right, the result is conflict. To demonstrate to others that one is right is actually to humiliate them; it is to offend their vanity and prestige, and thereby to create hostile reactions.
Good human relationships in general are created and promoted by cheerfulness. It is said: “The smile is a very powerful weapon. It can even break the ice.” We hear a lot today about isolation and lack of communication. Yes, but a friendly smile can help break down artificial barriers built up by distrust, suspicion and fear of being misunderstood.
Cheerfulness, and humor in general, should always be used in all forms of teaching. Teaching – and this is especially true in the higher classes – is too often given in a boring way instead of being interesting and enjoyable. Everything can be conveyed in an attractive and even amusing way, and thereby obtain the cooperation of the unconscious, into which the ideas must penetrate if they are to be digested and accessible. What bores the unconscious is not registered. There are actually books based on this psychological law, even for mathematics, a subject where it may seem difficult to use it. But these books are few and little used.
Another main area where cheerfulness should be widely spread is social relations between people, especially the “hierarchical” relationship between employer and employee in all fields: government offices, the military, and all kinds of business. This also applies to the family, where cheerfulness can reduce many conflicts between parents and children. The applications are obvious and require no explanation, but I will simply recall a little story that illustrates the consequences of a bad mood. One morning a minister had an argument with his wife, who happened to have the last word. When he arrived at the ministry, still furious, he sent for his head of department and criticized him. The head of department, who, as a subordinate, could not answer back, went into a rage and scolded his director, who passed it on to the head of the department, and so on down the ranks until it reached the janitor. Since he had no one under him to scold, he kicked the ministry cat. One can easily imagine the atmosphere in the ministry that day and the way the staff functioned. If the minister in question had used one of the psychological techniques for venting anger, or if he had at least known and wanted to act as if he were in a good mood, the atmosphere in the ministry would have been completely different. All the employees would have done a better job in the interest of the nation … and the cat would have escaped. The moral of this little story can point out how necessary it is to be cheerful, even in the political sphere. It is disarmingly simple to understand that if all leaders had a cheerful attitude, it would go a long way towards avoiding wars.
Sense of proportion
Another appropriate rule of life for people in high positions, political or otherwise, is to cultivate a sense of proportion . The study of astronomy—observing the starry sky, constellations, and galaxies—helps with this. It was a method that Theodore Roosevelt used spontaneously when he was president of the United States. One of his friends, the naturalist Begbie, relates: “Roosevelt and I had a little game together. After an evening talk, we would often go out on the lawn and scan the sky until we found the faint, hazy spot of light behind the lower left corner of Pegasus. Then one of us would recite: ‘That is the Spiral Galaxy in the Andromeda constellation. It is as big as our Milky Way. It is made up of a hundred million suns, all larger than our sun.’ Then Roosevelt would say, laughing, ‘Now I think we are small enough! Let’s go to bed.’”
In balance, however, it is good to recognize and remember the value of every person and their activities, no matter how humble they may be. This helps us to use good will and cheerfulness in everything we do , even if it is tiring and boring. Even if an activity is insignificant in itself, it can in fact be just as necessary as more conspicuous actions that seem to be more important. This balanced understanding and the good inner outlook that comes from it are well illustrated by the story of the three stonemasons. A visitor to the construction site of one of the medieval cathedrals asked a stonemason what he did. “You see,” he replied sourly, “that I cut stones,” thereby showing his displeasure with what he considered to be unpleasant and worthless work. The visitor went on and asked the same question of another stonemason. “I earn a living for myself and my family,” the worker replied in a subdued manner that reflected a certain satisfaction. Later, the visitor stopped at a third stonemason and asked, “And what are you doing ?” The third stonemason happily replied, “I am building a cathedral.” He had grasped the importance and purpose of the work; he knew that his humble labor was as necessary as the architect’s, and in a way had the same value. Therefore, he performed his work not only willingly but with enthusiasm.
Let us remember the example of the wise worker. Let us recognize and ever be aware that however limited our abilities may seem, however modest and humble our obligations, they are in reality particles in the great Life. We participate in the unfolding of the Cosmic Plan, “in cooperation with God.” This realization enables us to accept any situation, to fulfill any task, willingly and cheerfully.
Exercise to induce cheerfulness
1) Remove all muscle and nerve tension. Breathe slowly and rhythmically. Let your face reflect cheerfulness by smiling. (You can help yourself with this either by looking at yourself in a mirror, or by visualizing yourself with this expression.)
2) Reflect on cheerfulness and be aware of its value and usefulness, especially in our tense, modern world. Appreciate cheerfulness and desire it.
3) Induce cheerfulness directly by saying the word several times.
4) Imagine yourself in a situation that would likely worry or annoy you: for example, being with unfriendly people, facing a difficult problem, being forced to do several things quickly, or being in danger, and remain cheerful nonetheless.
5) Resolve to remain cheerful throughout the day, to be a living example of cheerfulness, to radiate cheerfulness.
The exercise can be done (with appropriate modifications) not only with cheerfulness, but also with other qualities: courage, joy, patience, will, and so on.
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The exercise is based on “Exercise for Producing Clear Calm and Silence”, which is published in the book: Psychosynthesis – a collection of basic writings (Kentaur Forlag, 2005) Can be purchased as an e-book in the webshop.
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