Generationernes konflikt og livsfasernes psykosyntese

The path of dialogue

A preliminary step is to establish contact between representatives of the two generations through dialogue. There is a method that I have always found effective in creating dialogue with the youth. It begins by asking their forgiveness for the world they are in, which has been created by the adults; and by sincerely acknowledging its many and serious shortcomings. “You have good reason,” I tell them, “to distrust adults and to refuse to adopt their ideas and values.” Paul Toumier, one of the pioneers of humanistic medicine, has expressed similar views. His book Les desharmonies de la via moderne (The Disharmony of Modern Life) is dedicated to his children with the words: “To our two children and to the younger generation, whose forgiveness our generation must ask for, for handing over to them such a sick world.”

This unexpected approach, if not eliminates, at least reduces the hostile suspicion of the young and paves the way for the exchange that will take us a step further. At this point, the adult must find the specific right way in the individual situation to communicate the idea: “Let us see together whether it is possible to replace conflict with cooperation, at least to a certain extent. Let us then see whether, in the interest of all, we can save humanity from the danger that threatens the creation of a better world, a new civilization and a new culture; one that is more responsive to the demands of youth and to the new conditions arising from modern technology”. In the first place, this cooperation requires mutual goodwill, a common understanding; but its realization requires that the initiative be taken by adults on a voluntary basis. It is not enough for adults to go only halfway to meet the young, even if from a rational point of view that would be reasonable; they must go two-thirds or three-quarters of the way. It is not simply a psychological necessity. This extra reach is the full recognition by adults that the old mentality, the old forms and the old structures are no longer valid, that they can no longer be used and must therefore be replaced and, where necessary, destroyed – and this includes those which, although previously good, are no longer suitable for the new conditions.

On the other hand, it is clear that more destruction is insufficient. We cannot live in anarchy and chaos. It is therefore necessary to seek, find and experiment with new ideas, concepts and new forms of culture that can replace the old ones. This is an urgent task in which both adults and young people can cooperate; adults should be willing to take the first step in establishing this cooperation. They can do this by asking the youth: “What do you propose?”

The answer is often an embarrassing silence or confused and incoherent statements. It can gradually become apparent to both parties that, although there are legitimate complaints, no one can yet come up with useful projects and constructive, applicable solutions. Experience has shown me that the answer takes the form of a question to the adult: “What can and should we do?” Here the adult must resist the natural and strong urge to give quick advice. He must limit himself to the spirit of cooperation and avoid a direct answer, but insist on the necessity of seeking the solution together. What the adult can suggest, however, is a method that can be used in the joint search, which can be summarized as follows: Formulate the problem clearly and precisely. Seek possible solutions, and in the course of this process alternative possibilities will appear. Examine the individual alternatives, assess their consequences, and classify them in one of the following two categories:

1. Urgent and immediate solutions, even if they may only be partial and temporary

2. Intermediate and gradual solutions

3. Solutions that lead to final and holistic results, at least for an hour.

If young people agree with this solution, I believe that both parties will find this approach applicable in any context, but it is especially suitable for the complex issues generally associated with school and education.

The final phase consists of experimenting with the different solutions through pilot projects. This is best done with small, mixed groups; mixed in two senses: groups made up of young people and adults, where the adults are the experts or technicians, and also people whose lack of specialized knowledge makes them free from preconceived ideas or fixed ideas and therefore more receptive to new ideas. It has not infrequently happened that people without prior qualifications have accomplished things that the experts had “proved” were impossible. Experts once proved from physical laws that butterflies cannot fly; but since the butterflies are unaware of this, they just keep on flying.

If groups in different places and in different countries, and even on different continents, want to conduct experiments along these lines, they can perform a valuable service by discussing the results of their conversations and, above all, their experiments.

Rediscovering the spirit of youth

A task like this presents adults with a particularly difficult task – to rediscover the spirit of youth, and this in two ways: by becoming young with the young and by being aware that a new cycle of civilization and culture is being born, which must necessarily have a distinctly youthful character from the beginning. And this leads me to the second part of my project, the psychosynthesis of human life in the different ages, which consists in keeping within ourselves the best aspects of each preceding age and level of development alive, conscious and useful.

Each age is not in itself worse or better than any other, but each has aspects which we may call for convenience better or worse, more harmonious or inharmonious, more creative and constructive or passive, barren and even destructive. A study of the cycles of human life makes this clear, although it must be limited here to a general overview. Space does not permit more than, for example, a mention of the innumerable, different characteristics which arise from individual differences in constitution and character, and from the range of family, social and national conditions in which the individual lives and develops. But even such an incomplete and schematic study will suffice at the beginning of this integration, this psychosynthesis of the ages of human life.

In relation to childhood we find here the idea of ​​the natural child, which Rousseau identified, uninfluenced and unspoiled by having grown up under the influence of adults. But even in a common social environment and without regard to Rousseau’s idyllic and debatable ideas, it is clear that children exhibit very positive psychological aspects, which often go unnoticed and unrecognized. (Some writers have strongly emphasized the qualitative characteristics of the child that distinguish him from the adult. The best presentation of this subject is given by Frances Wickers in her book The Psychic Life of Childhood; a book that all parents and teachers should read. It presents a psychological analysis and is in its form searching, original and with a penetrating depth rarely found in scientific works on this subject.) The positive psychological features of childhood include simplicity, gullible trust, spontaneity, admiration, wonder and joy. Among the negative traits we find uncontrolled impulsivity, lack of mental organization, capriciousness, unpredictability and various outbursts of jealousy, aggression and certain forms of malice, which are mostly unconscious, because the child is not aware of the suffering they are causing to the animal they are tormenting.

Pre-puberty , which is the age from 8 to 14, has been called the thankless age. It is characterized, especially in boys, by actions, if not words, which contain the first “declaration of independence.” The child rebels against the authority of parents and teachers, and his need to actively express these energies gives rise to a combative, aggressive behaviour. The problems that arise are complicated by the conditions of city life, which limit or completely prevent a natural and legitimate release of their power. But if placed in appropriate conditions and well guided, they can display the positive qualities of this age – courage, adventure, the ability to endure physical discomfort – and develop the feeling of comradeship and cooperation through group activities. The practical way to cultivate these qualities is that used within youth organizations such as survival courses for boys, and similar group activities exist for girls.

During puberty we also experience a mixture of positive and negative elements; often with increased intensity. The positive elements include the acquisition of self-awareness, an often ardent and more or less persistent idealism, idealistic love, religious feelings, enthusiasm and humanitarian assertiveness, an excessively polemical attitude which feeds a lack of understanding and appreciation of the rights of others, and an increased arrogance reflecting a sense of inferiority, insecurity and a withdrawal from realities.

A clear ambivalence can often be observed in the form of a conflict between opposing tendencies. Stanley Hall, author of a comprehensive and valuable book on youth, lists some of them: Enthusiasm-laziness, elation-depression, altruism-egoism, curiosity-indifference, love of reading-need for external action, sensitivity to sensory impressions-preoccupation with abstract problems; and to these may be added the awakening of sexuality and idealistic love.

In adolescence , the personality is formed and consolidated; the ambivalence of puberty disappears or diminishes. The higher aspects of this age are courage, enthusiasm, enterprise, the urge to dedicate oneself to a cause or ideal, the will to sacrifice, love in its various expressions, group feeling, friendship and camaraderie. The overall negative characteristics of this phase are exaggeration, distortion or perversion of the higher aspects in the form of impulsiveness, violence, rebellion without cause, extremism, intolerance, intransigence and fanaticism.

In adulthood, the positive qualities are a reason based on life experiences, a more balanced and relaxed judgment, organization of personal life and a sense of responsibility in meeting and carrying out one’s own tasks and in establishing relationships with family members and society. Here too, the negative qualities reflect the exaggeration of the positives or their incorrect application. In a certain sense, they are summed up in petty bourgeoisie with its desire for economic security and good social positions, its tendency to reject inconvenient youthful ideas, its conformity and its preference for quiet life and stability to the detriment of personal development and individual and social progress.

Crises in adulthood and old age

We now turn to the crises associated with the transition from adulthood to old age .

The first of these may be called the crisis of the retired man . Many people, who as the years go by feel the weight and exhaustion of their work, eagerly look forward to the time when they will be free, but find that it heralds a sad disappointment. In fact, they experience a disorientation and do not know what to do. They miss the modest or perhaps considerable prestige and satisfaction that was attached to their position and the position they occupied in society. Inactivity weighs heavily and is as – if not more – difficult to endure than the previous work. Retirement is often the beginning of depressive states and various neuropsychological disorders. The cure consists simply in awakening other interests; but this can be done more easily and effectively if the crisis is foreseen and its remedy is planned, although not always implemented. The woman who has not had a job outside the home experiences a similar crisis when, for various reasons, she feels deprived of the functions with which she generally identifies and which gave her life meaning: the function as mother and wife.

But as the years go by, a deeper crisis may arise, one that – because it involves the whole personality – can be called existential. It arises when we refuse to grow old, that is, to accept the limitations and renunciations that advancing age necessitates. These are so well known that it is unnecessary to elaborate further, beyond noting that any such attempt is doomed to failure. But a possible and satisfactory solution exists. It is based on a general factor, which here becomes decisive, namely the lack of causality between biological age and spiritual age . It is a fact that is not sufficiently taken into account, despite the fact that it is obvious upon closer examination.

Many people remain psychologically children or young people all their lives; something that often happens to artists. I can cite a contemporary example: Charlie Chaplin openly admitted on his 80th birthday that he was what he had always been – a child. Conversely, the mature man can dissociate himself from his biological age; that is, he does not have to follow the downward curve, but can redirect his life along a horizontal route, so to speak, or even better, an upward one. When we do so, we recognize, know, assimilate and utilize the higher qualities of old age.

The negative or inferior qualities of old age require no further description, but I will mention the exaggerated importance attached to its limitations and physical infirmities; the narrowing of interests, the tendency to dwell on the past, and a nostalgic longing for the good old days (which were often not so good after all). But this age contains some valuable positive features. The abandonment of many former inclinations and activities can be seen and experienced as a liberation, which it actually is. Conflicts are diminished or disappear, and the person is given time and opportunity to adopt other and better ways of living. Passions and emotions are quieted, and this makes room for a clearer and more enlightened vision; the maturation of life’s experiences is translated into wisdom.

The activities in which aging people can engage are reduced in number, but if possible gain in quality. To name just a few of many: At the age of 75, the renowned Japanese painter, Hokusai, writes: “Since I was 6 years old, I have been very interested in drawing the form of objects, but all my efforts until I was 70 disappointed me. When I was 73, I began to understand the many forms and species of birds, fish and plants.” Thus harmony, balance and clarity mature in the aging person and are the source of a quiet but deep and lasting joy. Richard Wagner confirmed this with his well-intentioned, if somewhat bombastic, statement that “life begins at 70; only then does it become beautiful.”

Everyone who attains awareness of his spiritual self (and this can happen at any time from puberty onwards) has the opportunity to dis-identify from his personal and psychological age by living with it as roles to be played and tasks to be performed while remaining free. In fact, in this way he is able to perform them better. A woman who is not exclusively a mother, and who does not identify herself completely and entirely with that function, is a better mother. (See also my article Life as a Game and Stage Performance .) But this presupposes the experience of a serious crisis, perhaps the most profound and fundamental that a human being faces. It is a crisis that must inevitably be confronted by old people, but it is worth noting that it can occur at any age – and indeed often does – and is rooted in the concrete fact of the inevitability of physical death. Faced with the thought or expectation of death, many are seized by a fear, anguish or revolt that is proportional to the degree of their attachment to physical life or the personality’s identification with physical ties, activities and functions, and which is also proportional to their anxiety about the unknown and the presumed annihilation.

But not everyone gives in to these negative reactions; there are many who respond with a different and positive attitude. First and foremost, those who have a firm faith, not necessarily religious but at least sincerely lived. Then there are those whose more clearly defined faith leads them to surrender to life and the unknown without fear and in a spirit of generous acceptance of whatever it may bring. All who have freed their consciousness from the constant change of time and have come to an inner experience of the reality of the transpersonal Self, the awareness of that which constitutes our innermost core, the highest Reality within each of us, can achieve this liberation.

The revival of the qualities of the previous phases

The transpersonal Self is “outside” and beyond time. It exists and lives in the dimension of the Eternal. Sometimes the experience of it comes spontaneously, but it can also be evoked in various ways, which I cannot go into here. I will limit myself to mentioning that one of the contributing methods is the practice of dis-identification; one of the techniques used in psychosynthesis, and one that I highly recommend. Experiencing the transpersonal Self is not easily achieved. It requires continuous, long-term training, but the magnificence of the reward justifies the necessary effort.

These considerations show the way to the realization of psychosynthesis in the different ages of human life. It can be achieved by keeping alive the best aspects of all ages and making use of them. An older person can consciously reawaken, breathe new life into and cultivate in himself the positive traits of character from all his previous ages. He can do this by means of various active psychosynthesis techniques such as those based on visualization, suggestion, ideal models, affirmations and meditation. He can strengthen the process by opening himself to the direct influence of people younger than himself, by seeking the company of children, teenagers and young people. But the older person must be willing to participate actively in the lives of younger people by playing with them, talking to them and putting himself in their place.

An older person can consciously be a child with children, a teenager with teenagers, a young person with the young, and an adult with adults. He can awaken his own dormant, but not extinct, child or young person. The possibilities and traits of the previous ages are latent in all of us; they can be awakened and made active and functional. The process best takes place gradually, i.e. by starting while young and then deepening it over the years. Parents and teachers should stimulate and even promote it, or at least not hinder it; but unfortunately the reverse happens only too often.

The older person who has desired and been able to achieve a certain degree of psychosynthesis of life has achieved not only individual psychosynthesis and true integration, but can also cooperate in the various interpersonal and social psychosyntheses. He can create a ring that unites people and groups of all ages; he can be a teacher and a loving, impersonal counselor (I am not saying that one should never give advice, only that it is best not to do so at the beginning of communication with youth).

Some might object: “But this psychosynthesis involves only the older, more mature people; not the young.” A superficial consideration might support such a view, but it is not so. First of all, there is the already mentioned lack of connection between biological and psycho-spiritual age. Just as there are eternal children, there are teenagers and young people who possess and spontaneously express qualities that are associated with later ages. But the young, while living out their youth to the fullest, can take these qualities into themselves and consciously develop them, both through appropriate psychological methods and by voluntarily opening themselves to the influence of people who possess such abilities and seeking their company, their friendship and their cooperation. They can also gain insight through the example of those whose lives express these qualities and are available through biographies and autobiographies, as well as by studying and immersing themselves in their work.

Although this process of absorption often takes place spontaneously, it can be consciously promoted through the assimilation of ideal models, which can be called “creative imitation.” This expression may seem to contain a contradiction, but it is not so. The best examples and models are those who have themselves achieved the psychosynthesis of the ages. If I were to name some, I would first mention Michelangelo. When he was 80 years old, he met a friend in front of St. Peter’s in Rome, who asked him: “Where are you going?” “I am going to learn,” was the answer. In fact, he was going to study anatomy with a doctor. It can be well stated that as long as there is a desire to learn, the youth in us remains active.

Then there is Goethe, who retained his youthfulness right up to the end of his life and at the age of 84 fell in love with a 20-year-old woman, to whom he wrote one of his finest poems. But Goethe had dedicated his entire life to the formation of personality and even to the creation of his psychosynthesis (without calling it that). “Yes, I hold to this thought. The ultimate result of wisdom lies in this: only he secures his own existence who wins it anew every day.” The American poet, Walt Whitman, gives another example. It was said of him when he was young that he looked like an old man, and when he was old that he looked like a young man.

Let me now mention some people whom I can present as proof through my personal friendship. One of them is Rabindranath Tagore, the Nobel Prize-winning poet, for whom I acted as translator the week he was in Rome more than thirty years ago. In conversation with those who came to him for advice, and in his spiritual teaching, his attitude was that of a wise old man; but one day, when we were sightseeing in the Roman palaces, he displayed a fresh and youthful enthusiasm for the beauty he saw, and stopped for several minutes to contemplate a field of ripe grain, strewn with poppies, which inspired a poem. My second example is Herman Keyserling, the philosopher, who in his youth showed great maturity, and as soon as he was an adult he founded the “School of Wisdom.” His ever-youthful spirit led him at times to display an unexpectedly playful kind of humor. Two examples of men over 90 who have exhibited youthful qualities and character flaws have been George Bernard Shaw and Bertrand Russell.

Not a few women have displayed a blessed combination of the gifts of different ages. I will mention three that I have known personally. One is Contessa Maria Baciocchi de Péon, who pioneered the application of psychology to the training of personality at the beginning of this century (the 20th century, etc.). She has tirelessly carried out this work, writing books on the subject and organizing conferences throughout her life. The second is a French woman who could read 15 languages ​​​​and at the age of more than 80 began to study a 16th and not entirely easy language, Tibetan, “to keep the mind active and alive”. The third is Contessa Gabriella Spalletti Rasponi, who was president of the Italian Council of Women. Her home resembled a ministry, but that did not prevent her from being a good mother and a conscious grandmother, so she resumed the study of Latin and Greek to help her grandson. The Institute of Psychosynthesis, of which she was the first president, is particularly indebted to her for her moral and material support at its establishment in 1926.

All this is about psychosynthesis within the different ages of human life; it can be related and applied to group psychosynthesis and in a special way to the psychosynthesis of generations, as discussed in the introduction. Knowledge of the best qualities and outlooks of the different ages, and the recognition of the possibility and effectiveness of their psychosynthesis in all young, younger, mature and elderly people, will greatly promote communication between people of all ages and make possible mutual understanding and recognition. Through this, many of the dangerous and destructive conflicts that now prevail between people and groups can be eliminated or reduced, and fruitful cooperation can be achieved. Thus, humanity will be able to take conscious steps forward towards the bright goals of the new era, where everyone – freed from the influence of the past – can realize their highest potentials.

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