We all know what it’s like to be torn between different sides that conflict with each other, resulting in ambivalence. James Vargiu gives a very comprehensive introduction to the psychosynthetic understanding of subpersonalities and how to work with them.
By James Vargiu, published in the psychosynthesis journal Synthesis no. 1, 1974, Translation: Hans Ole Pedersen
James Vargiu was born in Italy and educated in the United States, first in physics and mathematics, and then in psychology. He practiced at the Istituto di Psicosintesi, Florence, Italy, with Roberto Assagioli. (Note: the above was written in 1974)
Who am I?
I am George, I am Peter, I am Martha, I am Judy.
No matter what my name is, I know that I am one particular person – I sense that “I am me”, although it is difficult to express what this means. If you ask me to describe it, if you press me to answer the question “Who am I?”, I give up. I may write “I am George.” But that does not give the answer. I may write “I am a teacher” because that is my profession, but that does not say anything either. I can write “I am kind”, and “I am mean (sometimes)”, “I am brave”, “I am fearful”, “I am a father”, “I am faithful”. The list goes on and on: qualities, social roles, attitudes, peculiar habits, weaknesses. The list is endless. And as I give more and more answers, adding confusing detail (so that it might seem as if “me” itself is being unraveled), my sense of identity, the awareness that “I am Me” also becomes stronger .(1) I realize that I am one person – the same person – and that I am also composed of many aspects at the same time.
The inner person and the many persons
Often we are not aware of our sense of “I-ness”. We take it for granted. Just as we may not be really aware of the complexity of our inner self. And yet our sense of identity is not just a theoretical concept. It is an existential reality that can be experienced directly. The intensity of this experience, its energy charge, varies from individual to individual, and from time to time in the same individual. For example, our sense of “I-ness” seems to dissolve every night while we sleep, only to mysteriously reappear when we wake up in the morning. It diminishes when we throw ourselves into activities, or becomes painfully intensified when we feel shame. When we are in the process of making a decision, our sense of “I-ness” can be particularly strong, just as it is when we voluntarily take on a heavy responsibility.(2)
But despite these variations, we practically take it for granted that there really is a “me,” and that it is the same “me” (George or Judy) who got up this morning who went to bed last night. The fact that our sense of personal identity remains intact over the long term, regardless of our own or others’ actions, is what produces the sense of continuity in our existence. So our “me-ness” is extremely valuable to us, literally as valuable as life itself. Although we normally take it for granted, we resist people and forces who would diminish it or take it away from us, and a serious threat to it will immediately mobilize our survival instinct. Some have even argued that the very fear of death is not fundamentally a fear of pain, of loneliness, or even of the unknown, but essentially the fear of this fundamental sense of personal identity being annihilated.
Resistance to Diversity
It is therefore not surprising that some people feel great resistance to seeing their personality as anything other than a single coherent entity. Something in them resists the awareness that their personality is composed of many different parts – as if admitting such a division would cause identity itself to collapse into nothingness.
More often than not, when we become aware of the multiplicity of parts in our personality, we accept them in principle, but continue to reject them operationally, in practice. In everyday life, we continue to think of ourselves and others as if we were made “in one piece,” as if we were already a whole. We rarely think of ourselves – and others – as consisting of different parts. We know this well in theory, in a way, but in practice we forget it. So if we talk to someone who is intolerable, we say, “He is intolerable,” and perhaps get angry with him. And if an hour later he is happy and cheerful, we say, “Well, he has changed, he is almost like a different person.”
But if we stop and think about it, of course, we understand that it’s not quite that simple. It’s not actually us who change. Rather, it’s because we express different sides of ourselves at different times. So the side we express now is not the same as the one we expressed an hour ago. We simply play different roles in different situations, as we all know. But what we often don’t know – and we don’t think to ask – is who chooses the role we play?
Subpersonalities
Often it is not we ourselves who choose our roles, but one or another of the many distinct aspects or psychological formations of our personality. So these formations can be considered true sub-personalities .
Within all of us there is a multiplicity of these semi-autonomous sub-personalities striving to express themselves. And when one of them succeeds, we then play the corresponding role. But in the meantime the other sub-personalities are cut off. And yet they are still very much there – even though we may not be aware of them – and they tend to create a lot of inner conflict. They may also have some very beautiful, useful qualities that we need but are not in touch with. So one of the easiest and most fundamental ways to promote our growth is to get to know our sub-personalities. As we understand them better, we can regulate and direct their expression to suit our own needs and goals, making them our helpers and allies, and bringing them closer and closer together, towards greater harmony and integration.
There are a growing number of people who have discovered that when they acknowledge the multiplicity of sub-personalities within us and learn to manage and deal with them in practice, in the present , the sense of “I” – of personal identity and unity – is increased rather than diminished.
Unity and Diversity, the One and the Many, is a central paradox in all thought throughout time. Intuitively, one has known that an absolute unity lies behind the myriad of diversity of manifested life. Philosophers, religious leaders, scientists throughout history have grappled with this paradox. We have come to accept it as one of the mysteries of nature and the universe. But the personal aspect of this paradox is still largely ignored.
A rather extreme example of this paradox is the well-known fact that some actors become so identified with their roles that they “forget themselves” and really experience themselves as the person they are portraying.(3) If such an actor were to ask himself at that time: “Who am I?” he would answer: “I am Hamlet,” “I am Othello.” And yet after the performance he would have no doubt that the “I” who said “I am Hamlet” was the same one who before and after the performance would say: “I am an actor.” But if he were later to give up being an actor, for example to go into business, he would probably answer: “I am a businessman.” And yet he would be sure that he was “the same” who had experienced himself as the actor.
In the same way, each of us is One and Many, we have Unity and Diversity in our inner lives. And it is a psychological reality that when we explore our inner diversity and work systematically to harmonize the diverse elements of our personality, it leads to a stronger sense of identity and unity and to greater effectiveness in the outer world.
Exploring the psychological complexity
“There are times,” said Somerset Maugham, “when I look at the different parts of my character with perplexity. I recognize that I am composed of several persons, and that the person who is at the moment in the foreground will inevitably give way to another.”(4)
Subpersonalities our inner personality gallery
Many writers have pointed out that there are a multitude of people – sub-personalities – in our personality, each trying to achieve its own goals; sometimes they cooperate, but more often they are isolated or in conflict. According to Henry A. Murray, “a personality is a whole congress of spokesmen and pressure groups, of children, seducers, Machiavellians … Caesars and Christs …” (5). In the Orient, but also in the West, the inner diversity is expressed when the Buddhist scholar Alexandra David-Neil points out: “A person is an assembly … where the discussion never stops … Often several members of the assembly rise at the same time and propose different things. … It may happen that these different opinions … provoke an argument. … The members may even get into a fight.”(6) The philosopher Keyserling goes even further: “Each fundamental personality tendency is actually an autonomous existence, and their combination, nature and transmutations produce … an inner fauna, an animal kingdom, the luxuriance of which is comparable to the outer one. It can truly be said that in each of us there are all the instincts, all the passions, all the vices and virtues, all the inclinations and aspirations, all the faculties and talents of humanity, developed and active in different conditions.”(7)
Healing of split personality
For the past hundred years, this inner diversity has been a major theme in psychology. Ever since the time of William James, psychologists have recognized the importance of the division of our psyche and the corresponding psychological formations that result from it. There has been an increase in scientific research and in attempts to describe the inner divisions of man. In recent times, many personality theories and therapies have been developed that recognize these divisions and work to heal them. Among them are methods such as Berne’s Transactional Analysis,(8) Perls’ Gestalt Therapy,(9) and Shapiro’s Ego Therapy.(10) Transactional Analysis emphasizes one common subdivision of the personality, and the corresponding constellation of subpersonalities – Parent, Adult and Child. Gestalt Therapy has brought to light another common constellation: the “Overdog” and the “Underdog”, which are usually in conflict with each other. (See note for professionals below)
In literature we find the same point: Pirandello’s Six Persons in Search of an Author, Hesse’s Steppenwolf and his personal Magic Theater, Stevenson’s tormented Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. We see this multiplicity of sub-personalities in the lives of the greatest men: Tolstoy, Michelangelo, Paul, Goethe. And Augustine gave a profound description of the struggle – and the resolution – between his two most important sub-personalities: the “animal man” and the “spiritual man.”
[*] Note to professionals: Both methods recognize a specific type of subdivision with its particular sub-personalities. And both have developed effective and efficient techniques for dealing with the typical conflicts between these sub-personalities. Therefore, both methods are of great use.
And yet there is the case of an experienced Gestalt therapist who described a client who had “three Overdogs and no Underdog” – and who worked with the client accordingly. His implied point is that when a therapist uses any system that emphasizes certain subpersonalities over others, he must at some point bow to the uniqueness of the individual.
The uniqueness and similarities of human beings are one side of the paradox of unity-and-diversity. This is implied in the aforementioned quote by Keyserling. He said that in each of us are found all the instincts, all the vices and virtues, all the inclinations of humanity . This is the basis of the similarity between individuals which underlies empathy – the understanding of another person directly by identifying with that part of ourselves which corresponds to the other – and which breeds the feeling of brotherhood with our fellow human beings.
But Keyserling also said that these common qualities are developed and activated in different proportions in each person. This difference in proportions is fundamental to the uniqueness of each individual . For although in each of us there are the same basic qualities – which will develop, influence each other, combine and harmonize according to the same basic patterns – the development and combinations of these qualities, and the order of the combinations, occur according to a wonderfully unique process – a process which has unique conditions, unique timing and unique result.
So in practice, there are some basic subpersonality structures that are common to most of us, and therefore the approaches to development that focus on them are extremely effective. But the more effective and powerful an approach is, the more important it is to also view its application in light of the person’s unique existential situation as a whole. Because, as I said, there are certain groups of subpersonalities that are most likely present, more or less developed, in every individual, so if we look hard enough we are likely to find the one we are looking for. And because we have a powerful psychological tool at our disposal, we may give in to the temptation to treat it before considering what else is present in terms of individual parts in that individual’s unique constellation. While it is often useful, and sometimes even extremely important, to intervene in this way, we may have overlooked other aspects that were more crucial at the time, and more in line with the next natural developmental stage for the individual. Therefore, it is most effective to first consider a client’s personality – or our own for that matter – without expecting to find the subpersonalities that will fit into a particular system. It is better to strive to recognize the unique structure, subdivisions, and interactions of the personality in question. And then we can apply the model and technique that best fits the person’s specific existential situation – and modify them or add something as needed.
Needless to say, this warning is even more pertinent when it comes to the concept of subpersonality itself. On the one hand, the concept of subpersonality is an overarching structure that can supplement and integrate – without in any way replacing – the approaches that deal with specific types of subpersonalities. But on the other hand, it is only one of many possible ways of looking at personality.
The cast
Once we begin to turn our attention in that direction, we find many subpersonalities within each of us. Some are typical, some are practically unique. Students and clients have identified hundreds: The Witch, the Mystic, the Materialist, the Idealist, the Claw, the Pillar of Strength, the Sneaky Peter, the Religious Fanatic, the Sensitive Listener, the Crusader, the Doubter, the Greedy, the Fearful Child, the Poisoner, the Wrestler, the Test Master, the Shining Light, the Bitch and the Goddess, the Mannequin, just to name a few.
Subpersonalities exist at different levels of organization, complexity, and sophistication. Within a person, they tend toward greater organization and integration: the cast wants to be unified. There is no one set or combination of subpersonalities that can be considered central to all, although certain patterns are quite common. Instead, work with subpersonalities focuses on the specific natural processes through which each individual’s subpersonalities develop and become harmonized with the other subpersonalities, thus leading to an integrated, whole personality.
Integration by including identity
Here is a story about integration between two opposing sub-personalities:
A client in her early forties . . . had long identified herself with being a “good daughter, wife, and mother.” She had built her life around pleasing first her father, then her husband, and finally her three children, by doing all the “right things.” However, just after her fortieth birthday, she discovered the women’s movement, started a career, got divorced, and became, in her own words, a “new person.” But now she had difficulty relating to her teenage children. She did not experience feelings of love or care for them, which saddened and confused her greatly. For a period of time, she had become depressed and for a few weeks had “fallen back to the old me,” and then she was able to feel love and closeness to the children. Her question was: should she be the “old self” or the “new self”?
The woman had begun to integrate many parts of herself that she had previously denied (need for independence, a good intellect, competitiveness, ambition, etc.) around a new identity as a strong, independent, intelligent person. Yet the “old self” contained many important and valuable qualities, such as sensitivity and the ability to give and receive love. She was subsequently able to realize that she did not have to choose between them, but to form a broader identity that could contain aspects of both. The solution lay not in denial, but in inclusion .(11)
The essence of the approach used here was the fusion of two opposing subpersonalities, thereby creating a new, more highly developed subpersonality – one that includes the desirable aspects of both subpersonalities. This is often an important task that may require considerable time and effort. Further development of each subpersonality may first be required, and temporary interim solutions may be found. We will discuss this further by discussing the stages of harmonization of the subpersonalities.
Different combinations of sub-personalities
But split personalities do not only appear as pairs of opposites. Many are related without being opposites of each other. The following account, written by a 23-year-old woman experienced in split personality work, concerns a series of four related split personalities:
I’ll put my healthy sub-personalities aside for now and focus on four of my real troublemakers: the Dictator, the Martyr, the Bitch, and the Glue. They seem to be related in that they continually experience breakdowns of trust. The Dictator stems from a lack of basic trust in myself and in life. The Martyr fears the Dictator. The Bitch doesn’t trust the Martyr. And the Glue is the final low point.
The dictator rules, and he expects perfection in everything: in my daily schedule, my work, my love life, my relationships with other people, my meditation. His fundamental fear is that everything will not run harmoniously and smoothly if he loses control.
The martyr responds to the Dictator’s strength. She is the one who feels the lash of the Dictator’s whip of conscience. She feels guilty about not being good enough, but also has self-pity about having so much to do and being rewarded so little.
The bitch is a reaction to the Martyr being unable to do anything. She strikes back. She is sharp and cruel, and always hits her target. She is nasty at teasing and belittling those around her, especially my husband. She is not aware of the cause of her pain, but only of the need for revenge.
The glue is a stage that is only reached occasionally, and it is pure misery. The glue is distraught over the chaotic situation. There seems to be no way out of the mess, and she tries to escape, especially into a warm bath. It is an infantile self that clings to others, and is particularly prone to succumbing to emotions and unable to see the fog around it. Life in general is far too difficult to cope with.
I can see the chain that extends from the Dictator to the others, and I realize that the Dictator is abusing his power. He is strong, with the power to plan and execute, a strong will, which instead of strengthening myself as a whole, focuses rigidly on sub-plans and action plans.
If the energy of the Dictator can be channeled into serving the whole from the center of myself, tempered by the love of that self, there would be no need for the Martyr, the Bitch, or the Glue to appear. I see the Dictator as a potential source of energy that could be useful both in my daily life and in my longer-term development and growth.
How sub-personalities are brought together
A subpersonality is a synthesis of habit patterns, character traits, complexes and other psychological elements. But to have a synthesis, there must be a center around which the synthesis occurs . In a subpersonality, this center is an inner drive or urge that strives to be expressed, to be realized. It is this center that attracts and combines different personality elements to create something that can be considered its own “body” – its own expression.
Subpersonalities and their content
In each of us there are a great number of these sub-personalities. What do we do with them? As we gradually recognize and harmonize them, they in turn become organized and synthesized around a center of a higher order . This higher center is what we have called the “I,” the personal center of identity, of “I-ness.” (See note † below.) It relates to the many sub-personalities as the center of a single sub-personality relates to the many elements that make it up.
This higher-order synthesis becomes the integrated personality —the harmonious and effective expression of the self-actualized human being. As we move toward this goal, we become increasingly able to choose which subpersonality we wish to express at any given moment. Until then, we are under the control of the subpersonality with which we are currently identified, and therefore limited to its particular good and bad qualities. But as the integration of the subpersonalities progresses, every quality, every aspect of us becomes available to us. We have the highest freedom of expression; whatever is within us can be brought forth and realized.
From conflict to cooperation
Before this integration, we are limited not only by a particular sub-personality, but also by the conflicts that often arise between two or more of them. In such a conflict situation, each sub-personality will want to control us and express itself. But often neither of them will give in, and the situation becomes stuck. Then we waste energy – and conflict and pain arise. But as integration progresses, it leads to harmony. It is then possible to find a way of expression where all sub-personalities involved get what they need. Then they will learn to cooperate with each other, and with you . Gradually, everything becomes available to you.
For example, let’s say that a person has a sub-personality called the Mystic, which is made up of a visionary quality and of kindness. Let’s also say that he has an effective “businessman,” which is made up of aspects such as determination, willpower, etc. At first, the mystic and the businessman will probably be in conflict, because they are so different from each other. They don’t understand each other and don’t like each other, and each wants to have his own way completely. So they keep getting in each other’s way, and neither allows the other to express himself fully and freely.
The time division of the sub-personalities
But if, for example, they can be persuaded to a kind of “time-sharing,” where they both give the other the freedom to express themselves for part of the time, the person will have access to the qualities and strengths of both of them by switching their identification from one to the other. And the conflict will be largely eliminated.
This is often quite easy to achieve, and although it is mostly in the nature of compromise, it is an essential step towards integration. True, at present the person will only allow himself to be kind when identified with the mystic, and to be efficient when identified with the businessman. But in time the mystic and the businessman will recognize and appreciate each other’s good qualities. They will be willing to cooperate, and will eventually merge into a more developed sub-personality. So we may have a kind businessman or an efficient mystic – or even a completely new sub-personality with all the good qualities of both. (See note below ‡)
From cognition to synthesis
The process of harmonizing our sub-personalities consists of five phases: recognition, acceptance, coordination, integration, and synthesis.
We have already discussed the integration phase, in which subpersonalities, influencing each other mutually, create increasingly harmonious connections, and often combine. Eventually, this process results in a whole integrated personality .
But for the integration between sub-personalities to take place, there must also be changes within the sub-personalities. It is the same with people. Suppose some people come together and form a group. Before the group can become well-integrated and function as a unit, problems will probably arise between some of the people and must be resolved. And to be resolved, they require some inner changes in the people in the group. In the same way, there must be the inner refinement and harmonization of the sub-personalities involved in order for the integration of the personality to take place. This process is called coordination .
Recognition and acceptance are clearly necessary prerequisites for coordination and integration. Acceptance can be a person’s acceptance of a sub-personality, or a sub-personality’s acceptance of another sub-personality.
Synthesis (I use the term here in a special sense, to denote the final stage of the harmonization process) concerns mainly the personality as a whole and is essentially inter- personal or transpersonal . While it affects sub-personalities, it also has something to do with the individual’s interaction with others and with the world, and is mediated by the Transpersonal Self.
In the following pages, a client’s work will provide a practical sense of these five phases of subpersonality harmonization. I will then discuss each phase in detail and provide some specific guidelines and techniques to facilitate the progression through the phases.
Note † The nature of this center, its value in daily life, and practical techniques for experiencing, developing, and identifying with it will be a central topic in the next workbook. Until then, readers can refer to The Act of Will by Roberto Assagioli, translated into Danish (2005) under the title The Psychology of Will, (pages 174-180 in the Danish edition).
Note ‡ Recognizing subpersonalities is also very useful in our dealings with others. For example, if we try to give constructive criticism to someone, we can encounter a lot of misunderstandings. As we all know, it is often difficult to receive criticism because we take it personally . But once we think and speak in subpersonalities, the process is much easier…. “I think your martyr is trying to make me feel guilty. Do you agree?” When we express things this way, we remove any suggestion that “you are bad”. In fact, we are actually speaking honestly by saying: “have you seen that part of you? I know it is not you , but maybe you want to do something about it”. It is not only easier to communicate this way, but also more effective because it fits what is actually going on . You should never say “you are bad” or “you are doing something bad”. It is only because a subpersonality may be out of control. And of course it becomes the person’s responsibility to do something about it. We are responsible for our sub-personalities, just as we are responsible for our children, our pets, and our car. We certainly must make sure that they do not create trouble for ourselves or others. But we are not them.
The concept of subpersonalities can be used very effectively when it comes to problems with social relationships – especially in relationships. In doing so, you remove a serious stumbling block to real communication – blame . To the extent that people learn to work with the concept, it has the potential to detoxify relationships and break the endless cycle of blame and blame, blame and blame. In fact, it is you and me – and our subpersonalities that we need to harmonize. And we can help each other with that, because you and I are OK. It is these roles that make trouble for each other, although many of them could nurture and help each other.
How the subpersonality work is done
The client’s work is based on ” a guided daydream “. The guided daydream “… is a method of achieving two-way communication with the unconscious. The client sits relaxed with his eyes closed, and is asked, for example, to imagine that he is in a neutral place (e.g. a meadow), and as he moves forward in the imagination and experiences whatever may come, he refers his experiences and feelings to the counselor. (See note § below) The counselor encourages him and helps him to continue and to face and solve problem areas, usually on a symbolic level. Images such as a dragon, an old sage, a sword, a spring, the sun or other images of high symbolic value often appear in this process and can be confronted or utilized in an appropriate way. The technique can be used to open a channel to the superconscious and draw energy from it. It also brings unconscious material to the fore in symbolic form and makes it accessible, and can open up to experiencing cathartic cleansing and significant relief in areas of conflict.” (12)
The initial imagery in a guided daydream often reflects the client’s current situation. With the help of an experienced counselor, it is often possible to trace the reason for his situation, which has roots in the past . This allows one to gain a better understanding of what is happening and why, and through the imagery’s two-way communication with the unconscious, suggest changes that seem to improve the situation in the direction of the client’s values, goals and desire for growth. The latter can be seen as a journey into the future, and can become a map or an “ideal model”13 on a symbolic level, which the client can then realize in his everyday life. (See note** below)
The client (see note †† below) was a 23-year-old woman who said in her first session that she desperately wanted to grow, to move on to a more creative and fulfilling expression of herself. But, as she said, she felt badly blocked by something inside … something she experienced as anxiety, mental confusion — even despair. Being around other people, she said, had begun to feel unreal and unfulfilling. And she felt increasingly depressed, and did not want to be with others, and moreover, she ate too much to compensate for her depression. Her friends were alarmed; her husband was worried; and she wanted to do something about it.
The problem that seemed to trouble her most was the pain that came from wanting to contribute something of value to the world and the feeling that she would never be able to make any real contribution. She was extremely self-critical, unable to see any value or utility in anything she had done so far. And yet she was someone who would be described as “successful” by most…honors in high school, a good marriage, loving friends who appreciated her, even a nice collection of poems and short stories that she had written in the rare moments when she allowed herself to. She was a lovely person with delicate fine features, a general aura of sensitivity and intelligence, and unmistakable good will. But her critical view of herself undermined her efforts and held her back from all that was within her reach.
As we explored her emotions during the session, we tried to see what was behind her anxiety. She spoke of subtle underlying emotions that were difficult for her to acknowledge in everyday life – feelings of disgust and a kind of nameless hostility. We decided to explore the disgust and hostility and use these feelings as an entry point into a guided daydream.
As a result of this daydream, three subpersonalities emerged, which she called “The Witch,” “The Doubter,” and “The Idealist.” In the guided daydream, Sharon was able to find a symbolic solution to the subpersonality conflict that was underlying her severe self-criticism. This symbolic solution then served as a “map” or set of guidelines that she could use to work with the subpersonalities in her daily life—so she could begin the process of creating solutions in real life. Notice how the guided daydream at the symbolic level included all five phases of subpersonality harmonization: recognition, acceptance, coordination, integration, and synthesis—and helped her gain a clear sense of direction.
With the help of an experienced guide, guided daydreaming is an exceptionally effective method for reaching the underlying psychological drama of our subpersonalities, which is expressed in our behavior. In general, it is a powerful instrument for bringing to light the deeper inner dynamics of our personality. However, one can also do very effective and fruitful work without using the technique of guided daydreaming (See Psychosynthesis Exercises). Here we present a daydream because it represents a complete panoramic overview of the process of harmonizing subpersonalities, from the first realization to the synthesis.
Note § The author uses the word supervisor instead of therapist, probably to emphasize that it is not a patient relationship, etc.
Note ** Many articles have been written about Guided Daydreaming and other Mental Imagery techniques. (14), (15), (16), (17)
Note †† This session was conducted by my wife and me with a client whom we will call Sharon in this story.
Charon’s guided daydream (see important Note below)
The comments following the transcript of the daydream consider the daydream from the perspective of the five phases. In the transcript, the numbers in the margin refer to these later comments. The transcript follows here.
Facilitator: Close your eyes… relax… take a few deep breaths… (pause)… now let yourself relive those feelings of anger and disgust. Tell me when you connect with them.
Sharon: I have them.
V: Good. Hold on to them… let an image of the feelings arise and tell me what it is.
S: It’s hard… my thoughts are so confused.
[1] V: That’s ok. The picture will come.
S: Yes, and it’s one I’ve seen before. It’s an old witch, very ugly and completely twisted inside.
V: Tell me more about it.
S: Yes, she’s put together from twisted parts that chatter away… and rock back and forth and eat away.
V: How do you feel about her?
[2] S: I hate her and am disgusted by her… and I detest her.
V: Let yourself be in the feeling… (pause)… What does she do now?
S: She looks at me with all her twisted parts twisting and she knows I look at her and am disgusted by her. But she doesn’t care because she knows I can’t get rid of her, that she’s a part of me.
V: Ask her if there is anything she wants to tell you.
[3] S: She says I have to stop being fake, that when I stand there looking at her and trying to get rid of her – so that she won’t be a part of me – it’s very, very fake and pretentious.
V: How do you feel about that?
S: Angry. Of course I want to get rid of her. She’s disgusting and twisted. Maybe I’m fake, but I don’t know how else to make her go away if I don’t ignore her. I detest her, I hate her. I want her to go away. Why won’t she go away? … (crying) … She’s right. I actually feel fake and conceited by pretending that she’s not a part of me.
V: Okay. Tell her.
S: I did, and she said, “Okay, you admit that I am a part of you, but we still despise each other.”
V: Do you mean from both sides?
A: Yes.
V: Is there anything you would like from her?
S: Just that she is honest with me so we can deal with each other.
V: How is she dishonest?
S: Yes, she is not honest because she hates and accuses me. But I am not honest with her either because I hate and accuse her too. When we stop and admit the truth, just as I just admitted to her that I knew it was false to pretend she wasn’t there – that is being honest.
V: Tell her.
S: Witch, I want you to be honest with me.
[4] V: Ask her if there is anything she needs from you.
S: Yes, she says that there is… She needs understanding and help.
V: How do you feel about that?
[5] S: I feel sorry for her.
V: Let yourself feel it… Get really into it, it’s very important.
S: (starts crying) It’s so good to let those feelings out. (continues crying)
V: Yes… (pause)… Tell her you feel sorry for her.
S: I told her. We both have to help each other.
V: How can she help you?
[6] S: She can help by reminding me of who I am and what we are together, and that we can work together… She needs to remind me that she is there.
[7] V: Now I want you to see if you can become her and then tell me how it feels.
S: I’m the ugly part now, and I’m talking to Sharon. I feel very cynical and very contemptuous towards her.
V: Tell me more. How are you?
S: I’m bitter… and cynical… and I hate her because she tries to pretend I’m not here.
V: What do you need?
S: Her help.
V: What kind of help?
[8] S: Her help to understand and acknowledge me, so that I can get out of the twisted state I’m in… because I actually don’t want to be like that.
V: Repeat: “I don’t want to be like that.”
S: I don’t want to be like that.
V: Say that again…(18)
S: I don’t want to be like that!
V: And again…
S: I don’t want to be that twisted!
V: Keep saying it. Let the feelings come.
S: I don’t want to be that twisted! (shouts) I don’t want to be like that! I DON’T WANT TO BE LIKE THAT! LISTEN TO WHAT I’M SAYING!
V: Yes … (pause) … how are you feeling now?
[9] S: Energetic and relieved. Strong. Sharon finally heard me. And she says, “I’m sorry, I didn’t understand, I’ll help you.”
V: How do you feel about that?
[10] S: I’m still a little hurt, but it’s ok.
V: Tell Sharon why you are hurt.
S: I’m hurt because it’s lasted so long and you’ve ignored me for so long.
V: Do you understand why she ignored you?
[11] S: Because she wanted to be pure.
V: How do you feel about that?
S: Like she was just a little conceited kid who sets out and chases after all her ideals.
V: How do you feel about those ideals?
[12] S: Well, they are good – in relation to the world – but she is not on the right track, because she was trying to be something that she was not ready to be.
V: How not ready?
S: She has to start from home, in everyday life. Those ideals became an escape for her… she tried to force herself into this image of a high, pure being. She has never, ever accepted me.
V: Tell her all that.
S: I told her to come back and start right where she is, one step at a time, and look at where she’s going, and look at herself.
V: How does she react to that?
S: She says: “You’re right, but it’s difficult.”
V: How can you help each other so you can do it one step at a time?
[13] S: She has to look at me and see all this crookedness in me, and she has to look inside and see that I am in here. And I have to look at her and accept her ideals and her desires to be pure and help her realize them… and we have to stick together.
V: Okay, so in the future, how can you get Sharon’s attention when you need help or feel like you can help her?
S: I can ask her to send some of her energy, some of her ideals, some of her will…
[14] V: Why don’t you try it now… (long pause)…
S: I asked her for some positive energy, for some willpower, and she said, “Yes, okay.” But then something started to bother me… something new… and now I feel different.
Q: What was that?
[15] S: I don’t know exactly, some kind of negative feeling, maybe doubt or something like that.
V: Let yourself feel it. Let it come.
S: It’s fear… of being alone, of being insecure and alone.
V: And you became afraid of being alone just as Sharon started helping you?
S: Yes. Because I don’t know where I’m going.
V: I understand that. Does Sharon know?
S: She said “yes”, but I don’t feel like she does.
V: Do you trust her?
S: I probably won’t, no.
V: Okay, tell Sharon.
S: She said, “It’s okay. I know where I’m going. Take my hand.” And I said, “But where?” and she pointed ahead and said, “Do you see that light over there, that point of light?” And it was right ahead, in a canal. “That’s where we’re going.”
V: You said you felt different. How?
[16] S: I am the one who has great doubt – the Doubter.
V: I’m in… and how do you feel when Sharon says “Come with me”?
S: I feel resistance. I hold back.
Q: Why?
S: I don’t know where the light tunnel is or what it is.
V: I understand that very well.
S: And I’m scared, and I feel like I don’t know where I am. I don’t know what’s happening. I see myself standing with Sharon and she’s pulling me by the hand. I look around and say, “Wait a minute, wait a minute! Where am I?” I have to know where I am before I can go there, towards the light.
V: How do you feel about the light?
S: It’s small and very far away, but everything gathers like a funnel towards it.
V: Yes… how do you feel about that?
S: I don’t know. I’m not afraid of it now, but I just don’t know.
V: Tune in to the light… and see if any emotions arise.
S: I imagine myself there, what it was like to be there, and the feeling is joy – my heart beats faster – I’m going through a funnel and near the end it opens up… forever. And it’s very clear.
[17] V: Okay. Now things change a little. Step back and watch Sharon … (pause) … now pay attention to the Doubter too … and to the Witch …
[18] S: Yes, they’re all there… and Sharon is just one of them… I can really see her clearly now. It’s not Sharon, it’s… The Idealist! I’m not her! I ‘ve been her, but I’m not her, am I? She’s the Idealist! Oh, wow!
V: Good… That’s an important insight… take the time to experience it.
[19] S: (long pause) … yes … now there is another … there is also another … a kind of greater me, the higher me.
V: And how is it “high you”?
S: She is what I want to be. She looks at the Witch and the Doubter and the Idealist. And what is so special is that she accepts them. All of them. And she has compassion for them. She knows the Witch is critical and twisted, and the Doubter is fearful and distrustful, and yet she accepts them. And she also sees right through the Idealist, the unrealistic ideals and the reluctance to accept one’s limitations, the conceit and the desperate spirituality. She accepts them all, and loves them despite their flaws. And she hums… she hums all the time… she is connected to the light.
V: Can you talk to her?
S: No. She doesn’t speak with words. She is silent.
V: Can you communicate with her in any other way?
[20] S: Yes … (pause) … she showed me a picture of a circle, a loop of light. I get some kind of meaning from it. It’s a message, but I don’t quite get it. The connection keeps breaking.
V: What disconnects?
S: The other parts keep coming in and I keep listening to them.
[21] V: Okay… now things are changing again. Imagine you are standing at the foot of a mountain with the Idealist, the Witch, and the Doubter. The “Higher” Sharon is somewhere above, probably near the top, and she will guide you when you need her. What I want you to do is take the others to the top.
S: They climb with me, sliding and talking freely, making a lot of noise like little children… (pause)… we are still climbing… (long pause)… now we are approaching the top… We are at the top.
V: And is the “Higher” Sharon there too?
S: Yes, she is here.
V: Turn to her and ask her what you need.
[22] S: She says they should all turn towards each other and look at each other and lean against each other so that they flow together into one.
V: Okay. Tell her you’re doing it now, and ask for her help. Let the sun shine very brightly. Do it now and tell me what happens.
S: She circles them with a ring of light that hums, and she energizes them with it until they start humming too, and they look at each other and take each other’s hands… and they flow together now and they are one. They are surrounded by light.
V: How does it feel?
[23] S: It’s the feeling of having contact again… (long pause)…
Q: What happens now?
S: They have merged, and a new one has formed in the ring of light. And she is different. It’s like she has qualities from all the other three. And she has an appearance that is not puffed up or on an ego trip, but sure of herself, she knows who she is. She is very, very stable. She doesn’t get carried away, so she doesn’t have to be so critical. She has high ideals, but they are somehow more connected to reality, more grounded. And she is also not just sweetness and light … she is somehow more human, wonderfully human.
V: Are you watching her or are you her?
[24] S: I am becoming her… now I am her… it is beautiful.
V: Good … (long pause) … now turn towards the sun. There is a ray of sunlight coming from the sun down to your feet. You can feel its warmth penetrating you. Let yourself be filled with its energy … now turn towards the “Higher” Sharon and tell her that you would like to go towards the sun, and if she will help you.
S: She said I should make a connection between the sun and the top of my head.
V: Okay. Do it. She will help you. And tell me what happens.
S: I am walking towards the sun… it is very joyful.
V: Tune in to the joy. Open yourself up to it… (long pause)… what happens now?
[25] S: My brain took over.
V: And what did it do?
S: It started thinking about selfishness, that I was selfish.
V: How were you selfish?
S: Getting so much joy, so much attention from you.
V: Turn to the “Higher” Sharon and ask her if you are selfish.
S: She says, “No, not now, not all the way up here.”
V: Okay, will you try again and go towards the sun?
A: Yes.
V: Then go ahead…
S: I tried, but I can’t get over the feeling that I’m taking up a lot of time when I could be working on this on my own later.
[26] V: Why not do it now, the easy way? It’s not selfish to take things. It’s selfish to hold on to them after you have them.
[27] S: That’s right! What the high Sharon does, and what I want to do, is to draw the light in and then share it, and give it out, and help.
V: Yes… and how can you share it without taking it in first?
S: That’s right.
V: Then go ahead.
[28] S: The light flow has been restored and I am back in the sun.
V: Now let yourself really feel the flow… (pause)… how is it?
S: I am one with everything.
[29] V: Let the energy flow into you and out of you. Let it flow through you and try to radiate it in all directions … (pause) … now look at the center of the sun. Try to go directly to the center of the sun and tell me what happens … (long pause) …
S: There is an explosion. No, not exactly an explosion, but a constant force of light from everywhere, radiant, and it flows out and hums.
V: Can you let yourself go right into the middle of it? And tell me what happens…
S: I just disappear.
V: Good… let me take you there…
S: Now I am the light..
V: Notice what is around you and tell me what it is.
S: At first there is only light and the sun surrounding me. And then there is a whole earth and a whole universe and the stars.
V: Can you still hear that hum?
A: Yes.
V: Tune in to it. That hum ties everything together. Tune in to it effectively. Hear that it is all around you and let it come from within you too… Try to make the inner and outer hums match… they are actually the same…
S: Everything is humming and the sound goes through me and everywhere around me.
V: Good. Stay in touch with that hum and look at the Earth… follow that hum, very gradually, as it goes towards the Earth, and keep the connection between the sun and the top of your head. Stay in touch with the sound, with the energy… Gradually go towards the earth, towards the top of the mountain… and let yourself land on the mountain.
[30] Again, try to let the energy and sound flow in and out of you, this time in all directions. You will see that there are other beings and animals on the mountain, and other parts of you that you have not seen yet. Now send the energy and sound to all of them to help them come close to each other. Send it down the mountainside all the way around … When you feel ready, you can open your eyes … (long pause) …
S: (laughing and crying at the same time) I feel so good…feeling so whole.
V: I’m very pleased… that was a good job… should we talk about what happened?
* Publisher’s note : The above course is a very unusual therapeutic course, because normally it is not possible to reach this far in a single session. It would not be unusual for the above development to require a course of approximately 20 hours. From a theoretical perspective, the case contains many useful descriptions of the phases of the process.
Sharon’s further therapeutic process
After the daydream, we spent some time talking. We wanted to help Sharon explore the meaning of the symbolic process for her and what she had learned from it. To avoid imposing our own interpretation of what happened, we asked her to write down her impressions for our next session.
In response, Sharon wrote:
-For the first time, I can now see what the Witch has always been trying to tell me… what she would have told me if I had listened. She says, “I am the one you have buried all the feelings you don’t like to admit you have… your angry feelings, your impatience, your envy. The idealist wanted you to be so pure that you never had bad feelings, and you pretended not to have them. But that left me alone and twisted, with no way to change it.
-I am a real part of you; you cannot reject me. I need your understanding and help. And I know the world. I am useful in the world. There are times when it is okay to be angry…times when impatience can be transformed into action. You must help smooth out my crookedness and use my good, practical side.
-I am offended by what the Idealist made you do to me. But I can see your ideals and appreciate them. I can help you realize them. But I want them to be useful, to have a connection to the real world. You cannot make your ideals a reality, you are not ready for that, unless you can deal with the present as it is and accept your own negative feelings. You have to take one step at a time.
Sharon further wrote:
-I can now see that if I let the Idealist take over and reject the Witch, none of my ideals can be realized. They are useless unless I can first accept and learn to deal with the negative side of myself and of other people.
-I see the value of the Doubter. She just wants to understand where I’m going. She can also protect me from doing crazy, unrealistic things, with her questions and her way of thinking things through. I need that.
Sharon was beginning to have a good understanding of how her sub-personalities could work together. As we continued our work, she understood more and more how badly she had been blocked by her unrealistic ideals, which had overwhelmed her and knocked her out before she could even begin.
Later, in another daydream, as she went deeper into the Doubter, she looked at the Idealist once more. She discovered that the Idealist had a good deal of ambition, and that it was this ambition that exaggerated and inflated her ideals, thereby making them unrealistic. And as we have seen, the Idealist had convinced her that the only way she could ever achieve them was by suppressing and denying her limitations.
It also became clear that the anger she had experienced in the first part of the daydream was a central element – an integrated but repressed part of the Witch, and that it also needed to be addressed.
Working with the “Evening Review”
The next phase of her work—and a very important one—was to begin to anchor her new understanding in her daily life—to begin to change the way she had been living. It was crucial for her to begin to get in touch with her anger and ambition, where the energy she needed had been locked away. For several weeks, she did an Evening Review, where she looked back at each day and looked for feelings of anger and frustration, and for ways in which her ambition had affected her choices and actions. Gradually, she learned to be aware of these feelings in the present moment, and was amazed to discover how much of her energy was locked up in them. As she experimentally allowed herself to experience this energy, she realized that it could be used to help overcome her feelings of inadequacy and to achieve realistic goals. She began to consciously channel some of this increased energy into overcoming obstacles that had previously seemed insurmountable—for example, working on writing a story for six consecutive days until she finished it!
Through this phase of the work, she came to appreciate the ambition of the Idealist, and to realize that provided ambition was under her control, it could help her to be creative and innovative, and was a powerful motivating force to work with her personal limitations, rather than avoid them.
Working with anger and frustration
Sharon was now also willing to deal with her anger and frustration. First, it was important for her to learn harmless ways to release these feelings. This was done through various catharsis techniques.19 For example, we suggested to her that when she felt angry she should hit a duvet with a tennis racket until she felt better, or that she should scrub floors or chop firewood. This catharsis was an important step, because it was during this period that her long-standing and deep depression gradually diminished and then disappeared.
Eventually, she understood that the anger and frustration that had been locked away within the Witch also represented valuable energy that, like ambition, could be channeled toward useful ends. So with Sharon’s help and understanding, the Witch was able to turn this energy in a less twisted direction, and put her practical sense and honesty into action.
In the course of this work, the Witch was transformed into a down-to-earth, practical, realistic voice that Sharon increasingly trusted. The Witch’s “we live in the real world” and the Doubter’s critical sense and good judgment eventually became two trusted voices that helped her ground the Idealist’s visions, making them realistic by helping her see the steps necessary to make her goals achievable. And so she was well on her way to integrating these three important sub-personalities into the new, more expansive and joyful sub-personality – the one she had been for a moment when she stood on the mountaintop at the beginning of the work.
Phases of harmonization
Let’s now look at Sharon’s daydream expressed by the five phases of subpersonality harmonization.
The subpersonality that caused Sharon’s feelings of disgust and anger was recognized without much difficulty, and turned out to be “someone I’ve seen before” ([1] ). This feeling of recognition occurs frequently and confirms the assumption that subpersonalities are not arbitrary constructs, but natural occurrences that develop spontaneously in the psyche. It is not unusual for the recognition of a repressed subpersonality to be initially accompanied by reciprocal negative feelings (“I hate her and am disgusted by her … and I detest her” [2]). These are often the same feelings that provoked its original rejection and suppression. To fully acknowledge and accept a subpersonality requires experiencing and owning those feelings, which can then be transformed into more positive ones (“I feel sorry for her” [5]). This then opens the way to the coordination phase.
The coordination phase
Coordination is a central aspect of working with subpersonalities. It consists of reaching from the outer aspects of a subpersonality to its core; from its actions to the meaning of the actions and the reasons behind them; from what it says it wants to what it really needs . In practically any situation, even if a subpersonality initially appears ugly, vicious, in deep pain, hostile, and a real obstacle, when we get to its core we find that its basic quality is good. We see that it is not only acceptable but useful, and at times most necessary; that it can be harmonized with the other qualities, and that distortions and conflicts were mainly created in the frustrated efforts to express and actualize the fundamentally good quality.
So the first step is to establish clear and open communication. You can then focus on what the two sides need from each other (while always being in touch with the feelings involved), and from the expressed needs find the reasons, the “whys”, for those needs, and then the needs behind those reasons. In Sharon’s case, the Witch first wanted her to “stop being fake”, because as it turned out, by being fake Sharon rejected her. But what the Witch really needed was first to be accepted, and then to be helped so that she could move out of her twistedness and evolve [4,8].
Lack of acceptance distorts the sub-personality
A fundamental point is that the subpersonality’s distortion was caused by Sharon’s lack of acceptance of it, and was in no way due to an inherent quality of the Witch. And the Witch detested her distortion (“I don’t want to be like that”) as much as Sharon did, and wanted to change, but was powerless without Sharon’s help. So Sharon had to take responsibility for the Witch’s distortions, and offer her help (“I’m sorry, I didn’t understand, I’ll help you” [9]). After that, the Witch was willing to take responsibility for her other feelings (“I’m still a little hurt, but it’s okay” [10]).
The technique that led to this acceptance is important and of great help in the acceptance and coordination phases. It consists of temporarily identifying with the subpersonality with which one is in conflict – “becoming” it. [7] The technique is discussed in more detail later.
After the reconciliation between Sharon and the Witch, it might have been tempting to end the daydream. There had been a good clearing of the core emotions. The vicious cycle—of rejection leading to distortion leading to more rejection—had been broken, and Sharon and the subpersonality were on good terms, eager to help each other. But if we had stopped there, Sharon would most likely have returned to her previous attitude of rejection and condemnation. What was missing to create a permanent change of attitude was an understanding of the original reasons for Sharon’s rejection of that subpersonality before the rejection distorted her into the Witch. (See footnote ‡‡ below)
The desire to be clean
The reason quickly emerged (“she wanted to be pure” [11], and “she was trying to be something she wasn’t ready to be” [12]). In this respect, the daydream is unusual. Most of the time, it takes a considerable amount of work to get to this point. Finding the reasons for Sharon’s rejection of the Witch led to the most concrete statement of mutual aid and cooperation [13], and to the first suggestion of integration (“we must stick together”).
Again, it would have been tempting to stop here. But in the work of mental imagery it may be appropriate to live out the act of mutual aid (“Why don’t you try it now” [14]), or whatever else may have been found desirable. In doing so, any still existing obstacles are likely to be brought to light. This was the case here, and the blockage that emerged [15] turned out to be quite unexpectedly severe, to the point of involving a new subpersonality (“I am the one who has great doubts—the Doubter” [16]). At this point it would have been possible to work on the acceptance and coordination of the Doubter, as we had done with the Witch. But I felt that the material and insight related to the Witch was more than Sharon could handle at the moment, and since it was more closely related to her immediate life needs, she would be more motivated to carry it out.
Working with the transpersonal
But I came to the conclusion that it would be helpful to Sharon’s growth in a larger perspective for her to experience her transpersonal nature. It would contribute to her general motivation, and help her to have a more realistic view of the possibilities and long-term goals that working with the Witch gave her the freedom to achieve. So in the treatment of the Doubter, the emphasis, as will be seen, was primarily on overcoming its immediate resistance rather than resolving its difficulties – on circumventing the obstacle rather than removing it – and sometimes on gathering data for later use.
This data complemented the already emerging picture of a fundamental conflict. On the one hand, we have the subpersonality with which Sharon usually identified – the one she initially referred to as Sharon, and later as “The Idealist” – who “knows where she is going” but will start out prematurely, impatiently, and over-zealously, without considering her limitations. On the other hand, we have the Doubter and the Witch, who respond with distrust, doubt, and hostility. The result of this conflict is the blocking of progress and the cutting off of the energy they need to grow effectively and in mutual harmony.
The integration phase
After the considerable work of coordinating the Witch, it seemed appropriate to attempt integration of the subpersonalities present. The first step was to help Sharon take the position of the objective observer [17]. She was able to do this without difficulty, and this produced two important results. The first was to disidentify from and acknowledge the subpersonality with which Sharon normally identified herself (“It’s not Sharon, it’s… the Idealist! I’m not her!” [18]). This was a major step forward, followed by strong emotions that freed Sharon from the Idealist’s particular desires and limitations. Next came a spontaneous influx from the superconscious in the form of a subpersonality-like creature of a transpersonal nature (the “High Sharon” [19]). This is quite typical, since for many people it is easiest to get in touch with the superconscious from the position of the “disidentified observer.” (See the Self-Identification Exercise)
Such a superconscious element is of great help in the integration process, and is essential for the synthesis phase. Often the first effect is to shed light on what may be standing in the way of integration. This was the case here when Sharon said that the connection kept being broken by the different sub-personalities [20]. Again it seemed better not to explore the difficulty in order to avoid bringing up too much new material at once, but instead to circumvent the obstacle. So rather than have some kind of interaction between the sub-personalities, I suggested climbing a mountain, as a symbol of integration [21]. At the top, the “High Sharon” was used as an inner source of guidance. She spontaneously suggested that integration was in order [22], and helped to make it happen. This integration led Sharon to identify with the new subpersonality (“I became her”), producing a positive experience (“It’s beautiful” [24]) and a stronger connection to the superconscious (“It’s the feeling of having contact again” [23]).
Working with Ideal Model
The successful integration does not, of course, mean that Sharon actually achieved the full integration of her personality at that time. Only three sub-personalities were involved. Furthermore, as I have said, the greatest value of mental imagery work is often that it provides a “road map,” an “Ideal Model,” a pattern for the work to be done. It is not at the level of everyday life, so it must be “grounded,” or realized in one’s normal life through practice, appropriate exercises, and gradual changes in habits and behavior.
As Sharon advanced toward the sun (a symbol of the superconscious and the Transpersonal Self), laying the foundation for the synthesis phase, another blockage appeared—the concern about being selfish [25]. Its nature, however, was completely different from the previous ones. It was not a conflict or incompatibility between subpersonalities, but an obstacle between the personality and the superconscious dimension, set up by the personality to stop its own progress . This is a typical case of “repression of the sublime,” which often appears at a time when one moves into the superconscious realm.
Working from the mental level
It is interesting to note that this blockage was addressed and resolved entirely on a mental level, through reason and insight. Although it had a clear emotional aspect – feelings of guilt, selfishness, etc. – its core was a conceptual distortion or limitation in Sharon’s worldview. The conceptual understanding (“It is not selfish to take things. It is selfish to hold on to them after you have them” [26]) was enough to get Sharon over her resistance. As she moved forward, she made a firm superconscious connection [28] where the experience confirmed the conceptual insight, and this allowed her to move forward without being held back by the feeling that taking was selfish.
On the other hand, trying to work with the issue of selfishness on the emotional level would have brought the whole game down to the sub-personality level again (probably one “selfish” and “one who doesn’t want to be selfish”). Sharon might have reached the same insight, but it would have been considerably more difficult and slower, and would have caused unnecessary pain and effort.
Here we can see a first hint of the interpersonal and transpersonal nature of the synthesis phase: “I want to draw the light in and then share it and give it out, and help” [27], which was then reinforced with the suggestion to translate it into action [29, 30].
Let’s now look at each step of subpersonality harmonization in a little more detail.
Footnote ‡‡ Of course, this rests on an underlying assumption – as with all attempts at coordination – that the subpersonality, as I have previously emphasized, is basically good, wants to grow and improve, and has a certain amount of good will that can be brought to bear. This assumption has been valid in the vast majority of practical cases where therapists have tried it. It is important to remember, however, that it should always be treated as a probable assumption , a hypothesis to be confirmed again and again by getting to the heart of each new situation – not a belief to be simply accepted blindly and superficially.
Recognition of subpersonalities
The early development of a new subpersonality and its first struggle to express itself often takes place outside of one’s conscious awareness. One becomes aware of the situation after a certain amount of development has taken place, and in many cases only when the struggle has reached an insistent stage. Such delayed recognition makes the process of harmonization more difficult than necessary. If we can recognize newly emerging subpersonalities earlier and understand their behavior and needs, we can reduce the conflict and foster their growth in harmony with the other subpersonalities, preparing the ground for their later integration into the personality. In this way we can avoid much unnecessary pain and the loss of many opportunities and help our lives to progress in an increasingly harmonious and satisfying manner.
It is usually quite easy to recognize many of our sub-personalities. For most of us they correspond to our inner experience, and in those cases it is simply enough to look for them to identify them. A few basic exercises, such as those described in the Psychosynthesis exercises section, are also quite effective ways of recognizing them. The Door Exercise and the Evening Review in particular are valuable not only for recognizing sub-personalities, but also for understanding their behavior and reaction patterns, and for working on their harmonization.
The subpersonalities that are more hidden often emerge in a therapy session, or can be recognized indirectly from the material that arises in a therapy situation. Mental imagery techniques are very effective, and many guided daydreams are primarily about subpersonalities and their interaction.
Attention as a source of energy
So it is usually never a problem to recognize most subpersonalities. In fact, it often takes less work to find new subpersonalities than to treat effectively those we have already recognized. Once people are introduced to the idea of working with subpersonalities, they often tend to do just that, and they become so fascinated by uncovering a myriad of extras that the more fruitful work of understanding and integrating the central subpersonalities is neglected. So the reader is warned against such an attitude, which is at best a waste of energy and can actually be harmful. In fact, if we focus unnecessarily on our subpersonalities, either by looking for too many at once or by brooding aimlessly over the ones we have chosen to work with, we are giving them energy – as is the case with any other psychological formation. If this is done over a long period of time, such as a few months, with an emphasis on the existing state of things instead of on the changes we wish to see, the result will only be to increase the extent of the difficulties without improving the situation. In extreme cases, it can lead to a lock-in of the status quo.
Avoid crystallizing the sub-personality
Also, naming a subpersonality can ultimately contribute to maintaining the status quo, although it can be useful to use names to distinguish the different subpersonalities from each other and to create a more direct contact with their essential quality. Thus, the “seeker” will find it very difficult to stop searching, the “monkey” will be encouraged by the name to continue being an animal, and the “bitch” will feel most alive when she is most bitchy. So it is good to be prepared to change the name of a subpersonality when the name in question is felt to be an obstacle to its growth.
As I said, it is not advisable to work with too many sub-personalities at once. Experienced people who have a lot of practice in dealing with their sub-personalities may be able to “keep an eye” on half a dozen over a period of time, and some of them even only superficially.
Although it is impossible to give general rules, the existential situation itself often indicates at a given time which subpersonalities need attention. When this is not clear, I suggest that after a few subpersonalities have been recognized, one should first concentrate on one or two of them – perhaps those that seem to have the greatest energy, newly emerged qualities that one wishes to develop, or the most urgent need: in other words, those that seem most central or important at the moment. This choice should not, of course, be made in a rigid manner, and it is always wise to be open to a new subpersonality that wants to be heard for some good reason. In general, as one builds experience, common sense and a good sense of humor often provide the best guidelines. A light touch is truly valuable in subpersonality work.
Acceptance
Acceptance of a subpersonality and its coordination occur gradually and go hand in hand. Through the process of coordination, the positive aspects of a subpersonality increasingly replace the negative aspects, thereby making it more acceptable. But acceptance is involved in another way: One must first accept that the negative aspects exist in order to be able to change them. So acceptance and coordination often prove in practice to be complementary processes that help each other forward with increasing speed and lead to the integration of the subpersonality within the personality as a whole. Often we reject a subpersonality – or another part of ourselves – that we do not like because we unconsciously believe that once we have accepted it, it will remain there forever. In reality, the truth is exactly the opposite. As we have seen in Sharon’s guided daydream, we cut off a subpersonality from the direct line to the necessary energy if we reject the subpersonality. This creates a blockage that inhibits its growth, causing it to seek energy indirectly by manipulating and creating conflict. Then it develops in a one-sided, distorted way, more and more at odds with the rest of the personality. And we cannot utilize its useful qualities, its abilities, its strengths. But if we accept it, we can discover its real needs and fulfill them in ways we can accept, and this will increase its positive qualities, while the negative qualities are transformed into others more appropriate. Appropriate fulfillment of the needs of the subpersonality comes from coordination, and enables the subpersonality to develop and interact harmoniously with the other subpersonalities.
Important factors are our values and self-image
When we first recognize new subpersonalities, our attitude toward them may vary – as is the case with people. In each case, it is determined by many factors, two of the most important of which are our values and our self-image . In general, we tend to accept a subpersonality that we consider good, useful, etc. according to our own value system, and to reject one that we see as bad, harmful, or useless. However, a person with pronounced feelings of inferiority or inferiority complex, and who identifies with these feelings, may find it easier to accept a “bad” subpersonality and have considerable difficulty accepting a “good” subpersonality. And many of us without strong feelings of inferiority often have a pronounced resistance to accepting subpersonalities with “higher” qualities or a clear transpersonal orientation. In general, we readily accept subpersonalities that are consistent with our self-image. Those that do not fit in are usually rejected.
Often, resistance to accepting a sub-personality can be dealt with on your own. Simply becoming aware of it can be enough in many cases. When the resistance proves to be a serious difficulty, it can be treated, just like any other psychological resistance, with one of the many good methods of psychotherapy or personal growth available today.
Disidentification leads to freedom
A powerful technique that is particularly effective for this purpose and also for coordination is to try to become aware of (or in a therapy situation, help the client to become aware of) “which part of oneself” is resisting the subpersonality in question. Invariably, the one resisting is another subpersonality , often in opposition to the first. And since one identifies with it, even if it is perhaps unconscious, it is necessary to “step back” from the opposing subpersonality, or to be more precise, to disidentify from it. In this way one is freed from its influence and is able to adopt the attitude of the impartial, objective observer. (See the Self-Identification Exercise) As the objective observer, one can easily accept both the first subpersonality and the one that resisted it, and then proceed with their coordination. This is done by understanding their needs and the way they influence each other, and by finding acceptable ways to satisfy those needs and harmonize their mutual influence in a more constructive way.
Compassionate Understanding
As already mentioned, there is an opposite – and complementary – technique: to “become” the subpersonality that one had rejected. This temporary identification brings about an immediately experienced awareness of the subpersonality’s existence, which can then lead to a compassionate understanding of its needs and the reason for its attitude, and then to acceptance of it. I must emphasize again that this is not the same as submitting to the status quo, but rather accepting the realities of the situation. And it is precisely because the situation has been accepted that it can then be changed and improved.
This technique allows one to handle a conflict between two sub-personalities by identifying first with one, and then with the other, thereby creating a dialogue between them and expressing their respective positions and needs. This is often done, for example, in Gestalt therapy, when treating the typical Overdog-Underdog conflict. This alternating identification in itself often leads to a common understanding between the conflicting parties, and sometimes even to a fusion into a higher formation.
The combination of this technique of alternating identification and the technique of the objective observer has proven to be extremely effective. The latter is indispensable for achieving a solution when alternating identification is not enough to overcome an impasse, and quite useful when the impasse is very painful or prolonged.
The Observer’s Function
When, with this combined approach, one has gained a sufficient understanding of what is happening on each side after a number of exchanges, one “steps back” from the two sub-personalities and lets the objective observer look at the situation and at the possible strategies that could be used to achieve a solution to the conflict. Such a solution may have the nature of a synthesis, where both sides get more or less everything they need, or it may be a temporary compromise that will lead to a solution with synthesis later on. In both cases, the objective observer’s solutions are almost invariably better and more acceptable to the sub-personalities than what each of them could propose individually.
So while identification with the sub-personalities leads to a strong emotional commitment, and at first often a self-centered (though not necessarily egotistical) attitude, the objective observer later acts as an advisor, conciliator, and mediator in the conflict, while remaining emotionally detached from the course of events and avoiding taking sides or adding his own specific needs.
Treating a situation from the position of the objective observer is common practice in psychosynthesis and in several other methods of growth. For example, Stewart Shapiro’s ego therapy uses the metaphor of the “general meeting” and the “chairman of the board” to indicate the many subpersonalities and the objective, unifying principle. In Transactional Analysis, the “adult” can be used in a similar function. A growing number of Gestalt therapists also find it very helpful to introduce the observer when working to resolve a conflict. For example, the Overdog might sit in one chair, and the Underdog in another. After the dialogue has switched back and forth for a sufficient length of time, a third chair is added with the idea that “this is the observer’s chair – as the observer, see what you can learn about the other two – see if there is a way you can help.”
Coordination of sub-personalities
When we go deep enough into the core of a subpersonality, we find that the core – which is a basic drive or need – is good. In practice, this can be considered an absolute truth. No matter how many layers of distortion surround it, the basic need is good, the basic motivation is good – and if the subpersonality became distorted, it was because it was unable to express itself directly. The real core – not what the subpersonality wants, but what it needs – is good. A fundamental purpose of the coordination phase is to uncover this central drive or need, to make it conscious, and to find acceptable ways to satisfy and fulfill it. And provided we are understanding and skilled enough, it can be satisfied – if not completely, then at least enough to keep the growth process going.
If you are faced with a demand from a subpersonality that you cannot satisfy directly, you can say, “Yes, I can’t actually give you this, but is there anything else I can give you instead?” And often what the subpersonality suggests will be appropriate and helpful. Suppose you find a four-year-old child in you who wants to be loved. “How do you want to be loved?” you ask. “I want to be held.” “How often do you want to be held?” “Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.” Well, you can’t do that for him, but is there anything else you can do? You can say, “I understand that you want to be held all the time. No one has held you for a very long time. You are important to me, but I have other things I want to do. So I would like to hold you for half an hour a day. Let’s try it for a week and see how it works.” So you make a deal with that sub-personality – a compromise – where you metaphorically “hold” the sub-personality and give it comfort.
Nurturing the sub-personality for growth
And a little satisfaction goes a long way. When subpersonalities are suppressed, they get nothing. When they get nothing, they want everything. But just a little is often all they need . And if they are childish, they soon develop beyond their childish needs. If there is a subpersonality in you that is four years old, it is because it has not really been “fed” since you were four years old. When you begin to nourish it, it will grow up. Soon it will want to do more mature things, more in tune with the things you want to do. Then gradually you take it in, and it becomes a part of you. Before coordination, the subpersonalities work against you, and there is conflict. After coordination, they begin to work with you.
Recognition of the central need in the sub-personality
Suppose you are dealing with a “dictator” subpersonality. The dictator may want power. He may want to control everyone in sight, to get a hug from them… and start with you. And of course you don’t want to let him do that. But you want to find out why he does what he does. First he may say, “I want you to do what I say, all the time!” And you say, “Why do you want that?” By continuing to ask “Why?”, by trying to understand the reason behind the demand , you move towards more and more basic needs, towards the core. There may be resistance, but eventually, as in this case, you may hear him say, “I am always very hungry, so I need you to feed me all the time, I am very weak, I cannot take care of myself.” This can lead to many solutions of varying depth. You can agree to “feed” him at reasonable times if he agrees to stop trying to control you. Or you can help him understand that he can take care of himself more than he thinks – or can learn to – and offer your help in situations where he actually can’t. Finally, you can explore the fundamental nature of his hunger, which may lead you to the discovery of the central drive that “animates” him.
Understanding makes love possible
Sometimes such a subpersonality, like some people, wants power because at one time he could not get love. He needed love, but did not know how to ask for it directly. But he knew how to get power, so he turned to power and tried, by force, to force others to do everything possible for him, which he hopes will serve as a substitute for love. If one recognizes that behind the need for power there is often a need for love , one can often easily put things right.20 One can basically say: “I cannot let you control everyone, I cannot let you manipulate. But I can see that your core is good, and I care about it, and I will be very happy to promote it.” Then one gives love to it. And when he receives love, he stops abusing power; that is the turning point. Here too one says: “I cannot give you what you ask for, but I will give you what you really need.” And then he might say: “I actually didn’t want power at all, I just wanted love.”
Of course, we must understand the subpersonality in depth in order to respond with love. It is very difficult to love a controlling and cold dictator. However, once you see that the dictator is not really a dictator, but at his core is simply someone who is malnourished in terms of love, it becomes possible to love him. You can love someone who has been malnourished in terms of love, no matter what he has done. You can understand that the reason he has acted this way is because he desperately craves love and does not know how else to behave in order to get it.
We see this again and again. When we can understand sub-personalities that seemed negative, we find that their core is positive. They simply do what seems best to them at the moment, within their range of knowledge, their weaknesses, their needs. It’s like with people. It ties in with the old Socratic truth that no one chooses to do something bad if he can clearly see that he has a choice between something bad and something good. But sometimes we are just completely blind.
Integration of sub-personalities
While coordination is about the development and improvement of the individual sub-personalities, integration is about the relationship between each sub-personality and the other sub-personalities, and about the location and field of action of each sub-personality within the personality as a whole. (See footnote §§ below) The integration process leads from a general state of isolation, conflict, competition and the suppression of the weaker by the stronger elements, to a state of harmonious cooperation in which the effectiveness of the personality is greatly increased, and the awakening aspects find the space and nourishment they need to develop fully. (See footnote *** below)
Subpersonalities arise as opposing pairs
Split personalities often occur as opposing pairs. Since this is not only the most common but also the simplest pattern, we will discuss the integration phase from this perspective. However, the same approach can be easily adapted to other situations.
To see how opposing subpersonalities can be reconciled, it is useful first to understand how such contradictions arise. At a certain stage of development, an individual may be strongly identified with a particular important subpersonality, and in practice believes that he is that subpersonality. Most of his energy is therefore concentrated on – and flows through – that subpersonality. The other subpersonalities develop more slowly, without being recognized or accepted, and are largely relegated to his subconscious. He is therefore relatively free from conflict, has well-defined goals and is able to realize them, and is probably normally well-adjusted and happy. But his goals are limited to the specific goals of that subpersonality, and he is able to express only a small part of his inner qualities and talents: those which the dominant subpersonality accepts as its own.
I said that most of the person’s energy is focused and flows through this subpersonality. A subtle but important consequence of this focusing of energy is that the quality of the energy is limited to the qualities that that subpersonality accepts. In other words, the subpersonality acts as a filter for that energy. Energy with other qualities, especially opposing qualities , will not be able to get through – will not find a channel through the subpersonality. It will seek out the other subpersonality that is closest to its quality – that provides the path of least resistance – one that is likely to be complementary, and often opposite, to the dominant subpersonality .
Conflict between sub-personalities
This is often how contradictions are formed. This second sub-personality, “fed” by the new energy flow, develops over time and becomes stronger, and seeks to express itself. But it finds its way blocked by the first sub-personality, which does not want to give up its controlling position. Now a conflict arises, which most often begins on the unconscious level. As long as the dominant sub-personality is much stronger than the one that is emerging, it will succeed in inhibiting the other and at least for a time prevent it from expressing itself directly. The new sub-personality will then try to express itself indirectly, perhaps by manipulation or other insidious maneuvers. As it becomes stronger, it will be able, under unusual circumstances such as stressful situations, to surprise the person and effect a temporary shift in her or his identity, from the dominant sub-personality to itself. At first, the person will usually interpret this as his own behavior taking on more and more undesirable aspects that he cannot stop. In the previously mentioned example of the businessman-mystic, we can try to assume that the businessman’s subpersonality was dominant and the mystic was emerging. While the person was identified with the businessman, at first, when he became aware of the mystic, he would probably interpret its sensitivity and visions as weakness and glamour, something to be ignored. But as these tendencies become stronger and perhaps manifest themselves through fantasies or actually influence his decision-making, he would become more and more disturbed. The inner conflict between the two opposites would then have reached the conscious level. He could continue to push away the new tendencies for a time and postpone the problem, but thereby make it much more difficult to deal with. Or he could decide to understand what is actually happening, either on his own or perhaps with the help of a counselor or therapist. If he comes to an understanding of the mystic and its location, he would then make room for it to emerge into consciousness, would see that it has many beautiful and valuable qualities, and eventually become identified with it. The mystic can now express himself directly, and much of the energy that was locked up can be released. This sudden release, and the accompanying increase in energy flow , is likely to be experienced as a peak of joy, or some other positive quality that lasts until the stored energy is released.
But now the mystic will continue to be in control, and the businessman will be cut off – the energy that flowed through it is now blocked and is pressing to be released. Soon the businessman and the mystic begin to fight over freedom of expression. Now the whole conflict rages openly. For the person it is now unsatisfactory and inhibiting to identify with only one of the sub-personalities, a failure of a part of himself. He finds it harder and harder to maintain identification with one of them, and gradually becomes more identified with the conflict than with the sub-personalities.
Superficially, the new situation may seem to him as a step back in his growth. He is now functioning less effectively, is less happy, and is under more stress. But his life is becoming more and more uncomfortable and requires a resolution of the conflict, a reconciliation of the two warring sub-personalities. So it is in reality a transition to a higher level of integration, and represents a definite step forward in his development.
Integration can be accomplished in several different ways, depending on various factors. Some of the most common are:
Time sharing between sub-personalities
In many conflict situations, each sub-personality, as we have seen, strives to be in control all the time, thereby inhibiting the expression of the others. When this is the case, one can never be fully present in what one is doing, nor can one enjoy it or be particularly effective. For example, we could have
e a sub-personality that wants to work all the time – the “Forced Worker” – who is at war with one that wants to play all the time – let’s call him “Foolish.” When we try to work, Foolish breaks in and makes us feel tired, which interferes with concentration, and lures us with fantasies of lying in the sun. But when we finally have time and freedom for idleness, the Forced Worker, unwilling to do anything but work, will fight back and torment us with thoughts and worries about work, making it impossible to relax and enjoy leisure.
In such situations, where the subpersonalities involved are acknowledged and accepted, it is usually possible to start a dialogue with them from the position of the objective observer, and make them understand that their struggle for control has reached a deadlock, a kind of draw, where both are losers . A compromise can then be proposed, in which each subpersonality agrees to let the other have control without interference for an appropriate part of the time, provided that it also gets its turn. Sometimes it is clear how the time is to be divided: the forced worker’s part of the time is clearly at work; the Fool’s time is free time. But in some cases it may be necessary to change the daily routine. For example, certain periods of time must be set aside for free time, if one’s busy everyday life does not leave room for it. And the increased quality and efficiency of the work will probably more than compensate for the reduced time.
Time-sharing is perhaps the easiest approach to integration and may seem downright naive, but in practice it is surprisingly effective. Rather than being a true synthesis, it is, as I have said, rather a temporary compromise that promotes further coordination of the sub-personalities involved and leads to a closer form of cooperation. 
The great value of this strategy is that it requires only a minimum of coordination. Therefore, it fits a large number of situations, it is easy to apply, and most sub-personalities accept it willingly – long before they are ready to accept a more sophisticated solution.
Collaboration between sub-personalities
When one understands the reasons for conflicts and the needs of the subpersonalities involved, it often turns out that both subpersonalities can achieve their goals through cooperation, and each can achieve the goal more completely than if they were separate. This was the case with the Idealist and the Doubter in Sharon’s case.
Often the desires and goals of one subpersonality seem to be completely different from those of the other. But in many cases, when one gets to the real root of the conflict, one discovers that the basic needs and goals of both subpersonalities are the same or very similar, and that the conflict was about the way to fulfill the needs. A very close and fruitful collaboration is then possible, and the two subpersonalities can merge in a relatively short time . In Sharon’s daydream, we see that the Idealist is motivated by a strong urge to 
reach the transpersonal dimension, and is therefore impatient, unrealistic, and unwilling to accept Sharon’s limitations. The Doubter is full of doubt and distrust, and is overly cautious and unwilling to follow in the footsteps of the Idealist. In the later work it became clear – as suggested in the daydream – that the Doubter actually valued the transpersonal as much as the Idealist and had just as strong an urge to move in that direction, even though it had less clear a vision of how to get there. And because it considered this goal to be so important, it felt the need to proceed with corresponding caution – lest it get lost along the way. As the subpersonalities came to understand that they both had the same goal, they were able to respect, value and trust each other, and to unite their strengths while helping each other overcome their limitations. By uniting the enthusiasm and clear vision of one with the judgment and wisdom of the other, Sharon was able to make effective progress.
The second polarity that Sharon found was between these two sub-personalities on the one hand, and the Witch on the other. The Idealist and the Doubter wanted to reach for the transpersonal, while the Witch’s goal was a down-to-earth personality development and effectiveness in daily life. Here the basis for the collaboration – and later the merger – came from Sharon’s insight that without personal development, the spiritual quest is dangerous and ultimately sterile, while everyday life ultimately finds its true meaning within the more spacious framework of transpersonal realization and goals.
Absorption and Fusion of Subpersonalities
As two or more subpersonalities come closer together through coordination and cooperation, they are drawn more and more towards each other. Eventually, a fusion of them occurs.
If they are at almost the same stage of development, the fusion is a real fusion , resulting in a completely new subpersonality. If one is considerably more developed than the other, it will take the smaller one “into itself” or absorb it – retaining much of its own original identity, but greatly expanding its coordination, efficiency and range of expression. 
For example, as mentioned, the integration of the businessman and the mystic could result in a compassionate businessman or a practical mystic. Or it could become an entirely new subpersonality with not only the positive qualities of both subpersonalities, but also some entirely new qualities that had not been present before, but were the result of the synergistic effect of the fusion. In other words, the new whole becomes greater than the sum of its parts. And many of the negative qualities of the original subpersonalities disappear or are greatly diminished because, as opposites, they are balanced out in the new synthesis that the fusion represents. The same thing happened in Sharon’s case. Her unrealistic enthusiasm on the one hand and her distrust on the other, with opposing effects, tended to balance each other’s exaggerated sides, opening the way for a utilization of the available energy in a way that was healthy and in accordance with the current situation.
Footnote §§ Harmonization of the subpersonalities is only one of several viewpoints from which the integration of the personality as a whole can be considered. We can treat personality integration from another very important viewpoint: the coordination and integration of the physical, emotional, and mental nature of man.
Footnote *** It is clear that the different phases of subpersonality harmonization are distinct but not separate , and that although they usually follow one another in the order given, in practice there is often a great deal of overlap and coherence. While the sequence is certainly of conceptual value in understanding what is going on, in practical work one should avoid any attempt to move rigidly from one phase to the next. Rather, we should look at the big picture and be aware of the development in each of the five phases, and be ready to focus on the one that needs attention at the moment. In Sharon’s daydream, for example, there were many shifts back and forth between acceptance, coordination, and integration.
Synthesis
This final phase of harmonization can be considered the culmination of individual growth. It promotes the integration of the personality through the refinement and harmonization of the personality itself. But where personality integration is intrapersonal , synthesis is essentially interpersonal and transpersonal , and is the result of a growing interaction between the personality and the superconscious and Transpersonal Self.
As a result of this interaction, the individual’s life and his social interaction with other people are increasingly characterized by a sense of responsibility, care, harmonious cooperation, altruistic love, and transpersonal purpose. This leads to the harmonious integration of man with others, with humanity, and with the world.
References
- GC Taylor: The “Who Am I?” Techniques in Psychotherapy , Psychosynthesis Institute, 3352 Sacramento Street, San Francisco, California, 1968. (Address probably no longer exists, ed. note)
- G. Cirinei: Psychosynthesis: A Way to Inner Freedom , Psychosynthesis Institute, 3352 Sacramento Street, San Francisco, California, 1970.
- R. Assagioli: Life as a Game and Stage Performance , Psychosynthesis Institute, 3352 Sacramento Street, San Francisco, California, 1973.
- Quoted in TA Harris’ I’m OK, You’re OK, Harper & Row, New York, 1969, p. 1.
- HA Murray: “What Should Psychologists Do About Psychoanalysis?”, Journal of Abnormal Social Psychology , 35, 1940, pp. 160-161.
- A. David-Neil: Buddhism , Lane Publishers, 1939.
- Quoted in translation by R. Assagioli: Per L’Armonia Della Vita, la Psicosintesi , Istituto di Psicosintesi, Via San Domenico 16, Florence, Italy, 1966, p. 5.
- E. Berne: Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy , Grove Press, New York, 1961.
- See for example F. Perls: Gestalt Therapy Verbatim , Bantam, New York, 1972.
- SB Shapiro: “A Theory of Ego Pathology and Ego Therapy,” The Journal of Psychology , 53, 1962, pp. 81-90.
- B. Carter: The Integration of the Personality , unpublished manuscript, 1973, p. 16.
- S. Vargiu: Psychosynthesis Case Studies , Psychosynthesis Institute, 3352 Sacramento Street, San Francisco, California, 1971, p. 4.
- R. Assagioli: Psychosynthesis: A Manual of Principles and Techniques , Viking Press, New York, 1971, pp. 166-177. See also The Ideal Model Exercise , Psychosynthesis Institute, 3352 Sacramento Street, San Francisco, California.
- R. Desoille: The Directed Daydream , Psychosynthesis Institute, 3352 Sacramento St., San Francisco, California, 1966.
- H. Leuner: “Guided Affective Imagery,” American Journal of Psychotherapy , Vol. XXIII, No. 1, 1969, pp. 4-22.
- M. Crampton: “The Use of Mental Imagery in Psychosynthesis,” Journal of Humanistic Psychology , Fall 1969, pp. 139-153.
- S. Vargiu: op. cit.
- B. Finney: Say it Again: An Active Therapy Technique , unpublished manuscript, 1969.
- S. Vargiu: op. cit ., “Alex,” p. 8.
- S: Vargiu, up. cit ., “Mark,” p.11.
Frequently Asked Questions About Subpersonalities
Q. All my sub-personalities were nice and polite to each other from the beginning (in connection with the exercise The Dance of the Many Selves) . What should I do?
Answer . Being nice and polite is not the same as being integrated and harmonious. Many of us have been taught that we should never show angry feelings, or hurt or frustration. While it is appropriate and has social value to be polite, it is not a healthy way to treat ourselves all the time. If we are consistently “nice and polite” inside, many of our feelings will be suppressed, ignored, or at least belittled. Although you may choose to be polite in social situations, if a part of you feels hurt or angry, it is important that you acknowledge those inner feelings. So as an experiment, you can assume that you have a sub-personality that feels that you must always be nice and polite. Work with this sub-personality by using one or more of the psychosynthesis exercises that deal with working with sub-personalities.
Q. I can’t get a spontaneous picture to come up. Is something wrong?
Answer . While a spontaneous image has high value, a well-considered or conceived image can have exactly the same value and significance. Out of the infinite number of images available to us, we choose just one. This choice has significance in itself: Why did we choose this image over another? And much can be learned by working deeply with even the most obvious image. So if you find it difficult to bring up a spontaneous image, just take a familiar or obvious one that comes to mind and use it.
Q. Isn’t this just a game? What use is it in real-world problems?
Answer . Symbols and images are the “language” of the unconscious. When we use images, we can establish a two-way communication with our unconscious, thereby shedding much light on our real problems. Adult games and children’s play are recognized ways of dealing with real problems in a symbolic way. We encourage you to use the systematic method of experimentation to find out for yourself what it can do for you.
Q. What is the difference between subpersonalities and simple personal traits?
Answer . Subpersonalities are psychological formations at a relatively high organizational level – just below the personality itself. Subpersonalities in turn consist of a number of psychological elements, including character traits. Character traits can be seen as a level below the subpersonalities in the organizational hierarchy of the psyche.
Q. What are character traits, for example?
Answer . Shyness, courage, sense of responsibility, modesty, etc. At the same level of organization as the character traits, we also have what we call habit patterns . We can also say that complexes, in the clinical sense, are more or less at the same level of organization. And all these traits and patterns are found grouped and integrated in the different sub-personalities.
Q. How many sub-personalities do we have?
Answer . It is like asking how many roots a tree has! We could say that there are a very large number of small, separate psychological elements – experiences, feelings, thoughts, etc. – that make up the little roots of the tree. These are in turn organized into larger roots, complexes, and character traits. Subpersonalities make up the main roots, which go to the central trunk of the tree – the personality.
We are really talking about a continuous system that goes from experiences to behavior patterns, to subpersonalities, to the integrated personality as a whole.
Q. What is the difference between subpersonalities and the roles we take on, such as teacher, mother, child?
Answer. A role is a way in which I express myself in the world. When I play a role, I do something. When I do nothing, there is no role. But the subpersonality is there, whether it is in play or not. For most people, roles are expressions of subpersonalities. But there can also be subpersonalities without roles. I usually play only one role at a time, but all the personalities are in me all the time. Some of them can be very active inside, without me expressing them – they will never play a role. They await their turn behind the scenes, and can be helped to express themselves and be useful.
Q. Why do we split into sub-personalities? I’m trying to pull myself together.
Answer. When we think of sub-personalities, it’s not really “splitting up,” even though it might seem that way when we first look for them. Diversity is a natural tendency in the universe. We see it in the animal kingdom, the plant kingdom – in the development of all living things. But sub-personalities are the result of the opposite tendency – the natural tendency of discrete elements to come together into coherent, harmonious wholes, in accordance with the principle of synthesis. So sub-personalities are the result of the psyche’s tendency to form wholes from different psychological elements.
When the elements appear in our psyche, they tend to spontaneously gather into groups. But there are so many and they are so different that for a long time they cannot gather into a single coherent group. They combine into a lot of different groups, and these are what we call subpersonalities. They are an intermediate step on the way to the formation of a whole personality. Just as the organs in our body have their own balance and quality, so too each subpersonality has its own inner ecology – its own equilibrium, its own way of reacting to others, its own goal. And just as the many organs in our body at some point in evolution created a harmonious organism, the subpersonalities can create what we call the “integrated personality.” The difference is that our body has completed this integration since time immemorial, while the integration of subpersonalities into a harmonious personality is still something we are working on for most of us.
We must remember that this tendency towards synthesis already exists in nature, and underlies the very process of evolution. So working with subpersonalities does not increase fragmentation – on the contrary, it leads us to the recognition of a situation that already exists. And once we have accepted it, we can do something about it; we can consciously cooperate with the natural disposition for greater harmony and integration.
Q. Split personalities seem to amplify the divisions within us. I feel more “broken” now than before I knew about split personalities. All I see are the pieces. Isn’t that a bad thing?
Answer . We must distinguish between an actual psychological state and our awareness of it . For example, a conflict between subpersonalities often lingers for quite a long time in our unconscious; and only when it becomes relatively acute do we finally become aware of it. At that point it is much more difficult to deal with than if we had taken the initiative to become aware of it earlier. In the beginning when looking at subpersonalities, you may become aware of more conflicts than before – but a little effort now will save you a lot of trouble later.
So when a person begins to work with subpersonalities, he may for a while feel more divided than before. But that does not mean that the conflict has increased. Only that he feels it more. And the existing conflict, both within the person and with the environment, will decrease at the same rate as he recognizes his subpersonalities and deals with them.
Q. Why not just transcend the sub-personalities? I don’t like some of them anyway?
Answer . There are many misunderstandings about what transcendence is. “Transcendence” in the sense of avoiding something does not exist at all. It is a psychological, practical, material impossibility. We can fool ourselves into thinking we are transcending something, even though all we are doing is avoiding or suppressing it. In the end, we find it before us, bigger than before and harder to handle.
The best way to get beyond something that is holding us back is to transcend its limitations . In the case of subpersonalities, this means first accepting, acknowledging, and acknowledging them; then learning to regulate and modify them according to our desires. In doing so, we can transcend the limitations of each and every one of them. But transcendence does not come from avoiding or denying something. It is the result of realization, understanding, and mastery.
Q. Are some subpersonalities good and some bad?
Answer . All of our sub-personalities do some things that we consider to be good, and some that we consider to be bad. And there are some sub-personalities that we generally consider to be “good”: these are often the ones we have allowed ourselves to accept. They have become subsumed into what we call our “core personality.” Then there are sub-personalities that we see as “bad,” which we normally reject—which we have either acknowledged but not accepted, or completely repressed in our unconscious. But once we bring them out and try to understand them, we can see that even though what they do appears “bad,” their real motives—the core from which they operate—are good, or at least natural and understandable, easy to accept. If it seems “bad” to us, it means that we do not understand it well enough.
When a subpersonality develops and first tries to express itself, it tends to do so in a fairly direct way. However, due to conflicts with other subpersonalities or a situation in the environment, it is often not allowed to express its needs in a direct and natural way. So it tries to do so indirectly.
The core of the subpersonality – that which corresponds to the “I” or the center of the whole personality – is a basic urge or drive. Metaphorically, we could think of this urge as energy, like a ray of light trying to shine. If it finds a free path, the light radiates directly and in its original form. But if it hits an obstacle, it scatters and takes on a form different from the quality of the source that emitted it.
Similarly, certain subpersonalities express themselves in very distorted, twisted, inflexible ways if they cannot express their needs directly because of the many obstacles they have to contend with. These distortions are what we consider “bad.” But if we trace the energy back to the source, we find that there it is pure and clear, and can be harmonized with other energies.
Q. Do we ever become free of our sub-personalities, or do we integrate them all completely?
Answer . We become free from them by transcending their limitations. Once we have experienced and learned that we are not our sub-personalities – once we are able to consciously disidentify from any or all of them – then we will begin to transcend them. Once we understand that they contain useful and valuable qualities, the idea of getting rid of them makes no sense.
As for integrating them all, it is a process – and like all processes it is never complete. When we first become aware of sub-personalities, we tune in to the many conflicts that have been going on for a long time. When we then actively intervene and literally create order out of chaos, we begin to help the many sub-personalities integrate with each other, thereby gradually forming the integrated personality. And on the periphery, new sub-personalities will emerge, which will then in turn gradually become accepted, coordinated and integrated.
There is a higher aspect to this process. As we gain greater skill and strength in disidentifying from our subpersonalities and integrating them, we no longer deal with rigid structures . We no longer have a situation where we are only able to choose from a set of relatively rigid subpersonalities. We have a more flexible, dynamic situation where the qualities and energies that were previously locked into a particular subpersonality structure become freely available to us. For example, let us say that previously we could only contact our courage through the “Crusader” subpersonality and only feel compassion when we had access to the “Mystic” subpersonality. Now we can take the courage of the Crusader and the compassion of the Mystic and express them together in a new combination. In this way we can arrange and move different qualities around at will, thereby forming new combinations to suit any new situation. This is a high level to operate on, and it is a major goal of subpersonality work.
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Also read the article Psychosynthesis an integral psychology
